Advertising industry has a huge influence on the society. Do you agree or disagree?

In
this
rapidly progressing universe, advertising dominates every individual's personal life. In
this
essay, I intend to discuss the positive views of advertising's influence on
society
.
To begin
with, advertising plays a pivotal role in an individual's personal life, encouraging them to buy the product even though they don't need it.
For instance
,if someone is confused about buying gadgets from shops, it helps them to purchase from the right online social media
application
, and
eventually
Add a comma
eventually,
show examples
application
owners can earn a profit.
Due to
the development of technology, which effectively improved the growth of new ventures or businesses, these are introduced by marketing strategies.
Furthermore
, it
also
influenced
society
by creating public awareness. Advertising can make people aware of products, services, or ideas they may not have known before, and
this
helps to shape their attitudes.
For example
, if an employee is working in the private sector and does not have much time to prepare food and spends his day with family, eventually they
turn
Correct subject-verb agreement
turns
show examples
to an online
application
to order, so here they can select a better food
application
by perfect attractive advertising.
On the other hand
,it can be argued that advertising is the worst thing that can happen to
society
.
For instance
, people buy things
while
getting inspired by the commercial ad, and it encourages them to purchase things they do not need.
This
leads to personal finances and causes debt.
As a result
, sometimes it can be used to sell products that are harmful to people's health or wellbeing. In conclusion, every garden has its own weeds; here, the positive aspects outweigh the negatives. Advertising is foremost in every field and among humans. There is no doubt that advertising plays a significant role in shaping our
society
.
Submitted by pranavravi95 on

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task achievement
The essay needs a clearer thesis statement in the introduction that directly addresses whether you agree or disagree with the statement, as this is essential for a complete response to the task.
task achievement
The ideas presented are generally clear but could be further developed with more comprehensive arguments and varied vocabulary to demonstrate a stronger command of the language.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay can be improved by ensuring each paragraph has one main idea that is comprehensively supported by relevant points and examples.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are slightly awkward and would benefit from revision for clarity and fluidity. Ensure smooth transitions between ideas to improve overall cohesion.
introduction conclusion present
The essay successfully presents an introduction and conclusion, providing a clear framework for the discussion.
relevant specific examples
Relevant examples are provided to illustrate the points made, which helps in making the arguments more concrete.

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