Some people believe that formal education is necessary for success, while others think that success can be achieved through other means. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Academic study is often regarded as the foundation for achieving
success
in life.
However
, there is a growing belief that
success
can
also
be attained through other possible means.
This
essay will examine both perspectives and provide an opinion on the matter. On the one hand, formal
education
is crucial for many reasons.
Firstly
, it provides individuals with the essential knowledge and
skills
required for various professions.
For instance
, a doctor must undergo rigorous
education
to acquire medical expertise. If they did not obtain these skill sets, they would not be able to get those specific jobs.
Moreover
, schools and universities offer an environment for students to develop communication and teamwork
skills
. They would actively participate in many group activities and presentations, enhancing soft
skills
that would have an impact on their personal development.
On the other hand
,
success
can be achieved through other measures. Entrepreneurship and self-learning are examples where individuals bypass formal
education
to reach their goals in life. Bill Gates and Steve Jobs,
for example
, are both of whom drop out of college, and become successful entrepreneurs.
In addition
to
this
, vocational training would provide practical
skills
in specific trades, leading to successful careers. Many electricians, plumbers, and chefs have achieved
success
through hands-on experience rather than study at school.
Therefore
, other factors
also
contribute to reaching people’s
dream
Fix the agreement mistake
dreams
show examples
of
success
. In conclusion,
while
formal academic institutions play an important role in providing core knowledge and
skills
, it is not the only pathway to
success
. Alternative options
such
as entrepreneur and vocational experiences can
also
lead to
success
.
Thus
, both formal
education
and other means should be recognized as significant pathways to achieving one’s goals.
Submitted by mohamadazhariazar on

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task achievement
Ensure that examples provided are not only illustrative but also clearly tie back to the argument being made.
task achievement
In conclusion paragraphs, succinctly summarize your main points without introducing new ideas.
coherence cohesion
Use varied linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repeating words and phrases to maintain the reader's interest and demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary.
coherence cohesion
Strong introduction and conclusion that clearly frame the essay.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples such as the mention of Bill Gates and Steve Jobs enhance the effectiveness of arguments.
task achievement
Balanced discussion of both perspectives, showing an understanding of multiple viewpoints.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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