Some people believe that success means earning a lot of money. Others believe that success is defined by personal happiness. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
According to
some, earning a lot
of money
means success
, while
other people
believe that personal happiness
is real success
. In my opinion, I consider that success
is defined by personal happiness
.
On the one
hand, some people
believe that triumph means earning a lot
of money
because of some reasons. Firstly
, money
nowadays is one
of the priority things for everyone. In other words
, people
can not do many things with less money
. So, gaining a lot
of money
which provides the opportunity for people
to use it however
they want. Secondly
. it is common nowadays that rich people
are successful, for example
, Mark Zuckerberg is one
who founded the most popular website in the world, Facebook, and he is one
of the richest individuals in the world. Therefore
, these stereotypes make people
think that success
means earning a lot
of money
.
On the other hand
, it is believed that success
is defined by personal happiness
, and I agree. First of all, being satisfied is the main success
. To put it simply, reaching the pick of success
is by feeling satisfied. For instance
, many people
nowadays have less money
but they are smart and they work in different places with low salaries, however
, they are proud of themselves and their good experience. Hence
, success
means satisfying and prodding in
yourself. Another point is that it is easy to earn a high salary, but it is difficult to be happy. Change preposition
apply
That is
to say, main
Correct article usage
the main
success
comes when the person is happy.
To sum up
, I believe that personal happiness
is the main triumph for people
because feeling satisfaction is an important option without focusing on salaries and being rich is easier than being happy.Submitted by asomm5563 on
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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure of the essay, make sure to have clear, distinct paragraphs that each focus on one specific aspect of the argument. Each paragraph should ideally start with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting sentences, and ending with a conclusive statement that ties back to the topic sentence.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion should both explicitly state the main topic and summarize the key points covered. In your introduction, it helps to paraphrase the question and outline your main arguments. Your conclusion should restate your opinion and summarize the main points of your argument without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
To support your main points, include relevant data, specific examples, or quotes from reliable sources, which can add credibility to your arguments. Make sure these examples are directly related to your main points and contribute to your overall argument.
task achievement
In addressing the task, it is important to explore all parts of the question thoroughly. Make sure your opinion is clear throughout and that you provide a balanced discussion before presenting your viewpoint. Additionally, each main idea you introduce should be expanded upon and explained thoroughly to show a deep understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are not only clear but also comprehensive by elaborating and fully developing your arguments. The use of complex structures and varied vocabulary enhances the readability of the essay and showcases your English proficiency.
task achievement
While examples are present, strive for more specific and real-world illustrations that can support your views. These examples should be detailed enough to add depth to your essay and should be clearly linked to your main argument to show relevance.
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