You saw a brochure for a one-week walking tour in the mountains. You're very interested in taking part, but you're not very fit and are worried you wouldn't be able to keep up. Write to the tour operator. In your letter: • Explain why you're interested in the tour. • Ask for information about dates and prices. • Express your concerns about your fitness level.

#brochure #tour #mountains #re #part #wouldn #operator #information #dates #prices #concerns #fitness #level

Dear sir, I am writing

this

letter to show my interest in the one-week walking

tour

of the mountains. I want to know about the details of the

tour

so that I can prepare for

this

and look out for my fitness ability for the

tour

. I am fond of seeing tremendous views of the mountains and I love to go on hiking and now I saw the advertisement for

this

tour

and right away I decided to grab

this

opportunity but I do not have detailed information about

this

tour

so I want to know about that when the

tour

will be held and what is the cost of the

tour

. I like to go on a

tour

because of my great interest but I have a problem with sensitive breathing, whenever I walk more than 3

kilometers

Change the spelling

kilometres

show examples

I feel tired and have insufficient breath. It will be fine for the team if we take a rest every two hours? It will appricatable. Hope to hear from you soon! Thank you! Yours faithfully, Pitu

Submitted by preetgurichahal11 on Wed Dec 06 2023

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task achievement

Consider using a more structured opening and incorporate a pleasanter tone to better engage the reader and set the context for your enquiry.

coherence and cohesion

Clarify the information you are asking for by using bullet points or a numbered list. This will make it easier for the tour operator to address each point.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph is centered around a single main idea, with a clear topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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1Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

175 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Nowadays, most people try to balance between work and other part of lives, Unfortunately, not many achive this balance. What are the problems of this? Suggest some solutions to solve the problems?

Some people say that it is possible to tell a lot about a person’s culture and character from their choice of cloths. Do you agree or disagree?

These days, many people are moving from rural areas to city centers. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Some believe that it is beneficial to show foreign films while others feel this can have a negative impact on local culture. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.