You saw a brochure for a one-week walking tour in the mountains. You're very interested in taking part, but you're not very fit and are worried you wouldn't be able to keep up. Write to the tour operator. In your letter: • Explain why you're interested in the tour. • Ask for information about dates and prices. • Express your concerns about your fitness level.

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Dear sir, I am writing
this
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letter to show my interest in the one-week walking
tour
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of the mountains. I want to know about the details of the
tour
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so that I can prepare for
this
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and look out for my fitness ability for the
tour
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. I am fond of seeing tremendous views of the mountains and I love to go on hiking and now I saw the advertisement for
this
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tour
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and right away I decided to grab
this
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opportunity but I do not have detailed information about
this
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tour
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so I want to know about that when the
tour
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will be held and what is the cost of the
tour
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. I like to go on a
tour
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because of my great interest but I have a problem with sensitive breathing, whenever I walk more than 3
kilometers
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kilometres
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I feel tired and have insufficient breath. It will be fine for the team if we take a rest every two hours? It will appricatable. Hope to hear from you soon! Thank you! Yours faithfully, Pitu
Submitted by preetgurichahal11 on

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task achievement
Consider using a more structured opening and incorporate a pleasanter tone to better engage the reader and set the context for your enquiry.
coherence and cohesion
Clarify the information you are asking for by using bullet points or a numbered list. This will make it easier for the tour operator to address each point.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is centered around a single main idea, with a clear topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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