The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average numbers of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities.
This
graph indicates the average monthly temperature in three metropolises which are London, New York, and Sydney. Linking Words
Moreover
, the given table illustrates Linking Words
total
Correct article usage
the total
hours
that the weather is sunny in Use synonyms
mentioned
major cities.
It is clearly evident that Sydney is a warm area Correct article usage
the mentioned
in
January until March with 25 Change preposition
from
degree
, but it gets colder month by month till July when the Use synonyms
temporature
reach Correct your spelling
temperature
temperatures
to
15. Meanwhile, Change preposition
apply
this
number slightly Linking Words
increase
in the next months and Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
finally
, Linking Words
turn
back to its previous ratio which is 25.
Correct subject-verb agreement
turns
Further
, Linking Words
while
London is Linking Words
chilly
Add an article
a chilly
city
in January, it becomes warmer until July with approximately 24 Use synonyms
Use synonyms
degree
. Change to a plural noun
degrees
This
number falls significantly again and turns back to nine Linking Words
Use synonyms
degree
in December. What's more, Change to a plural noun
degrees
Linking Words
however
NY is an icy region in the christmas, but it becomes by far the hottest Add the comma(s)
however,
city
in July and reaches a peak at 30 Use synonyms
Use synonyms
degree
. Change to a plural noun
degrees
Suprisingly
, Correct your spelling
Surprisingly
this
amount significantly decreases during the upcoming months and becomes the most freezing Linking Words
city
in the Use synonyms
last
month of the year with merely five Linking Words
Use synonyms
degree
. Change to a plural noun
degrees
Last
but not least, the annual glint of sunshine in NY is more than Linking Words
other
cities with 2,535 Change preposition
in other
hours
. Use synonyms
Although
, Syndey with a marginal difference is in the second grade with 2,473 Linking Words
hours
, Use synonyms
but
it has about 2000 Remove the conjunction
apply
hours
more sunshine than London with just 1180.
Use synonyms
Overall
, it is crystal clear that Sydney is the hottest Linking Words
city
with a high range of sunrise. Use synonyms
Additinally
, NY in spite of long Correct your spelling
Additionally
hours
of sunshine, is the coldest Use synonyms
city
Use synonyms
in
the beginning and end of the year.Change preposition
at
Submitted by tg.persian on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, degree, city with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼