More and more people no longer read newspapers. They get news about the world through the Internet. Do you think it is a negative or positive development?

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Nowadays, because of the breakthrough in technology
people
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around the world tend to read
news
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from the
internet
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rather than
newspapers
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. I think
this
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is a positive development for human beings. In
this
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essay, I will outline several benefits of getting
news
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from the
Internet
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rather than
newspapers
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. There are many advantages for
people
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who prefer to read
news
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from the
Internet
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than
newspapers
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.
First,
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people
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could get a piece of up-to-date
news
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because only having an
internet
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connection
people
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can access
news
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from the
Internet
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at that time so they should not wait as long as newspaper.
Second,
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using the
Internet
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as a medium for getting
news
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helps the government to reduce paper use
thus
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this
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activity can prevent deforestation.
Third,
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people
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have the opportunity to choose the
news
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that they want to read because on the
Internet
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there is tremendous
news
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from different websites so
people
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have many preferences for deciding the
news
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that they are interested in.
Moreover
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, reading the
news
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from the
Internet
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is cheaper than buying the newspaper.
On the other hand
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,
newspapers
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also
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have several benefits. One of the main benefits provided by
newspapers
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is not to irritate the eyes
while
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e-
news
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could cause detrimental effects on the eyes.
However
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, researchers, today, have conducted research and found advanced material to make screens more convenient for the eyes.
Moreover
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,
people
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can adjust lighting from the screen preventing bad effects from screen radiation.
Therefore
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, reading the
news
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on the
Internet
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still has a better impact on readers because
people
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can read the
news
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whenever they want.
Also
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, the use of
newspapers
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in
this
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digital age is obsolete.
To sum up
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,
although
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newspapers
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have become an integral part of human life in the past, the use of the
Internet
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now is more beneficial in many aspects not only for getting
news
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but
also
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for avoiding devastating impacts on the environment.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
Your essay sufficiently addresses the prompt, providing clear arguments for why getting news from the Internet is a positive development. However, to enhance your Task Achievement score further, you should aim to cover all parts of the question more evenly by discussing both sides of the argument with equal depth and providing a wider range of ideas and examples.
coherence cohesion
Regarding Coherence and Cohesion, your essay utilizes a logical sequence of ideas with clear topic sentences. Yet, the transitions between ideas could be smoother and more varied. Also, consider using a broader range of cohesive devices to link ideas across paragraphs and within them.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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