IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home, work and leisure activites. To what extent do the benefits of information technology outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relavant examples for your own knowledge and experience.

In recent decades,
information
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technology
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 has
revolutionized
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revolutionised
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 the way we live, affecting every sphere of life—from the workplace to our homes and recreational activities.
While
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this
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 advancement presents certain drawbacks, I believe the benefits far outweigh the disadvantages. One of the greatest advantages of
information
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technology
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 is the increased efficiency and convenience it brings to everyday life. In professional settings, digital communication tools
such
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 as email, video conferencing, and cloud computing have improved collaboration and productivity, especially in international companies. At home, smart devices allow users to control lighting, heating, or even grocery shopping with a few clicks.
Furthermore
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, leisure activities like streaming movies, online gaming, and virtual learning have become more accessible than ever, enriching both entertainment and education.
However
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, these conveniences are not without negative consequences. A key concern is overreliance on
technology
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, which can lead to reduced physical activity and social interaction. Many people, especially children, spend long hours in front of screens, which may negatively impact their health and social skills.
Additionally
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, the widespread use of
information
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technology
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 raises issues of privacy and cybersecurity. Data breaches and identity theft are growing threats in today’s digital world. Despite these issues, I believe that with proper education and regulation, the drawbacks can be mitigated.
For example
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, schools can incorporate digital literacy and responsible
technology
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 use into their curricula. Meanwhile, governments can enforce stricter laws on data protection and cybersecurity. In conclusion,
while
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information
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technology
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 introduces some challenges, its positive impact on communication, productivity, and convenience makes it an overwhelmingly beneficial development. The key lies in using it responsibly and addressing its risks effectively.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion more directly.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words to improve the flow of your ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Add a few more examples or details to support your points and make your essay more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with a good introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You presented both the advantages and disadvantages of information technology well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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