Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
museums
consider fees for entering and visiting
whereas
the others are free. There are some pros and
crons
Correct your spelling
cons
for
this
issue but
overall
, in my
perspective
Add a comma
perspective,
show examples
the benefits are more than the drawbacks.The following essay will discuss the statement.
To begin
with,
museums
are
cosidered
Correct your spelling
considered
as a valuable source which
demonstrate
Change the verb form
demonstrates
show examples
the culture and the history of a nation.
Therefore
, maintaining them would be a
fruitfull
Correct your spelling
fruitful
exercise for keeping historical and precious objects safe which is exotic not only for the residents but
also
the foreigners.
Besides
, it can be a great financial source if the government charge people for admission to
museums
.
For instance
, when tourists travel to a country they may have a vital impact on the
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
development of a country as they pay for visiting historical places and
museums
.
On the other hand
, all individuals
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
society deserve
cosuming
Correct your spelling
consuming
the
facielities
Correct your spelling
facilities
so, it should be affordable for everyone in a way that people from all walks of life could pay the admission.
In other words
,
although
, the payment is
nesseccary
Correct your spelling
necessary
, it should have a reasonable price
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
for the residents.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
the government may provide
infrastructurs
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
infrastructures
for students to visit
museums
freely as they are the generation who are expected to be more aware of the culture and history of their country.
To sum up
, I believe that charging folks for admission to
museums
is a beneficial way of
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
improvement
in addition
to the
neccessity
Correct your spelling
necessity
of
this
money for
maintaning
Correct your spelling
maintaining
the place.
Nevertheless
,the prices must be logical and affordable.
Submitted by s.hemmati.p on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure logical structure throughout the essay, with clear and coherent paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and follow with supporting information.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction and conclusion that appropriately frame the essay. The introduction should clearly state the topic and your thesis, while the conclusion should effectively summarize your argument.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points with enough detail and relevant examples. Every main idea should be expanded upon with specific information that supports your argument.
task achievement
Make sure to respond fully to the task by addressing all parts of the prompt. Clearly state your opinion and discuss both the advantages and disadvantages as required.
task achievement
Present ideas clearly and comprehensively. Your essay should communicate your thoughts in a way that is understandable to the reader without ambiguity.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to illustrate your points. Try to include concrete details, statistics, or case studies that support your argument and demonstrate your understanding of the topic.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
What to do next:
Look at other essays: