IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Many foods are shipped from far away. Some people think that eating local food is more environmentally and economically. Do you think the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

#foods #people #food
A number of
foods
 come from remote areas for the advantage of trade. Many people consider that
this
 is not a needed thing
due to
 they explain that the consumption of local
food
 is more beneficial for the
community
. From my point of view, there are both advantages and disadvantages to
this
 matter. In
this
 essay, I will provide my perspective in the following paragraphs.
To begin
 with, the advantage of consuming
food
 from another place is it supports the exchange and market among the country around the world.
This
 is a good opportunity for businessman who wants to start investing in the international market.
Moreover
, in terms of trade, they have to negotiate and bargain with each other.
This
 is a great chance for local people in order to create more value for their goods. In
this
 way, the local
community
 will have more resources to foster new businesses in households.
On the other hand
, plenty of
foods
 imported from other places can have a detrimental impact on local
food
. Several local
foods
 might not race with the price of
food
 that comes from other countries which is cheaper.
This
 can make a huge problem
that is
 a cause of the collapse of the local
community
 market.
In addition
, the production of some
foods
 more likely to damage or destroy the environment and other natural resources In conclusion, I elaborated my perspective that there are both advantages and disadvantages of
foods
 that come from remote areas and consumption
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
of local
food
. Consuming local
food
 can support local businesses in the
community
.
However
, Eating
food
 from other countries can bring benefits for international trade and increase goods' value.
Submitted by mahawichet on

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introduction
Ensure the introduction sets a clear position in response to the question, as this will guide the coherence of the entire essay.
paragraphing
Clearly organize paragraphs with a single main idea each, supported by specific details and examples.
cohesion
Use cohesive devices to improve the flow of the essay, making the relationships between sentences and paragraphs clear.
supporting
Fully develop each main point with well-elaborated and relevant examples that elaborate on the point made.
task response
Regarding task response, ensure you directly address the prompt, outlining advantages and disadvantages and providing a clear opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon emissions
  • transportation
  • environmentally friendly
  • economically beneficial
  • local farmers
  • local economy
  • fresher
  • nutritious
  • food security
  • imports
  • preserving
  • traditional farming practices
  • biodiversity
  • limited variety
  • availability
  • cost
  • contributor
What to do next:
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