IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many foods are shipped from far away. Some people think that eating local food is more environmentally and economically. Do you think the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

#foods #people #food
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A number of
foods
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 come from remote areas for the advantage of trade. Many people consider that
this
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 is not a needed thing
due to
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 they explain that the consumption of local
food
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 is more beneficial for the
community
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. From my point of view, there are both advantages and disadvantages to
this
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 matter. In
this
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 essay, I will provide my perspective in the following paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, the advantage of consuming
food
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 from another place is it supports the exchange and market among the country around the world.
This
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 is a good opportunity for businessman who wants to start investing in the international market.
Moreover
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, in terms of trade, they have to negotiate and bargain with each other.
This
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 is a great chance for local people in order to create more value for their goods. In
this
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 way, the local
community
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 will have more resources to foster new businesses in households.
On the other hand
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, plenty of
foods
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 imported from other places can have a detrimental impact on local
food
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. Several local
foods
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 might not race with the price of
food
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 that comes from other countries which is cheaper.
This
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 can make a huge problem
that is
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 a cause of the collapse of the local
community
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 market.
In addition
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, the production of some
foods
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 more likely to damage or destroy the environment and other natural resources In conclusion, I elaborated my perspective that there are both advantages and disadvantages of
foods
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 that come from remote areas and consumption
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
of local
food
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. Consuming local
food
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 can support local businesses in the
community
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.
However
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, Eating
food
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 from other countries can bring benefits for international trade and increase goods' value.
Submitted by mahawichet on

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introduction
Ensure the introduction sets a clear position in response to the question, as this will guide the coherence of the entire essay.
paragraphing
Clearly organize paragraphs with a single main idea each, supported by specific details and examples.
cohesion
Use cohesive devices to improve the flow of the essay, making the relationships between sentences and paragraphs clear.
supporting
Fully develop each main point with well-elaborated and relevant examples that elaborate on the point made.
task response
Regarding task response, ensure you directly address the prompt, outlining advantages and disadvantages and providing a clear opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon emissions
  • transportation
  • environmentally friendly
  • economically beneficial
  • local farmers
  • local economy
  • fresher
  • nutritious
  • food security
  • imports
  • preserving
  • traditional farming practices
  • biodiversity
  • limited variety
  • availability
  • cost
  • contributor
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