IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

*In many cities an increasing number of people do not know their neighbours and there is lack of a sense of community.* *What are the causes of this problem?* *How can it be solved?*

We live in an age when a large
number
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 of individuals do not have
neighborly
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neighbourly
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 connections. There are various possible reasons behind
this
Linking Words
 trend, and I believe that several measures can be taken to address
this
Linking Words
 problem. A
number
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 of factors influence other individuals why they do not build
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
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 with their
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neighbors
Use the right word
neighbours
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. The first possible reason is that the crime rate has increased at an alarming rate, leading them to lose trust in the
people
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 living around them. It is
also
Linking Words
 worth noting
that
Punctuation problem
that,
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 as we live in a fast-paced society, a large
number
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 of
people
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 have a hectic schedule.
As a consequence
Linking Words
, they do not have enough time to know and communicate with their
Use synonyms
neighbors
Use the right word
neighbours
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
instead
Linking Words
 of interacting with
people
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 in their
communitiy
Correct your spelling
community
, they opt to stay indoors to study or work hard.
While
Linking Words
 acknowledging the aforementioned perspectives, I firmly believe that
this
Linking Words
 social issue can be solved in several ways. The primary method is for the government to reduce the crime rate. If the
number
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 of illegal activities
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
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, more
people
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 will trust other individuals, leading them to
minimize
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minimise
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 their suspicion and interact with their
Use synonyms
neighbors
Use the right word
neighbours
show examples
. Another solution is for
people
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 to find time to meet their
Use synonyms
neighbors
Use the right word
neighbours
show examples
, which can be done by attending local events. Needless to say,
this
Linking Words
 problem concerning
Use synonyms
neighbors
Use the right word
neighbours
show examples
 can be solved if communities and the government exert effort together. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 there still are many reasons why
public
Correct article usage
the public
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 reluctant to stay close with their
Use synonyms
neighbors
Use the right word
neighbours
show examples
, I would assert that there are several effective methods that can be taken to solve
this
Linking Words
 issue.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly connects to the main idea of the essay. You might want to include more specific examples to support your points.
task achievement
Try to directly answer the task more fully. For example, you could expand on why these solutions would work.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-structured with clear paragraphs for each point.
task achievement
You presented relevant reasons and solutions to the problem, showing a good understanding of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • lack of community spirit
  • urban anonymity
  • transient population
  • digital socialization
  • work-life balance
  • individualistic culture
  • privacy concerns
  • neighborhood engagement
  • community initiatives
  • civic participation
  • social disconnection
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