The diagram below show the change that have taken place ar queen mary hospital since its construction in 1960.

The diagram below show the change that have taken place ar queen mary hospital since its construction in 1960.
The three maps illustrate the reformation that have made at Queen Mary Hospital in 1960, 1980 and 2000.
Overall
,
it is clear that
new building are added at the Queen Mary Hospital over the period shown, thas were the nursing school, cancer
centre
and pharmacy.
In contrast
, areas
such
as shopping
centre
and
farmland
have been removed. In 1960, there are three main places surrounding Queen Mary Hospital: a shopping
centre
next to the hospital and the main road and a
farmland
and a car park below.
However
,
farmland
and shopping mall were removed twenty years later. The
farmland
was replaced by a nursing school and the shopping
centre
was replaced by a cancer
centre
and a pharmacy attached to the hospital. In 2000, new changes have taken place. Pharmacy and Hospital have remained unchanged since 1980, the Cancer
Centre
has been expanded, taken the previous nursing school area.
Finally
, the area where the Car Park was, has slit up in two sides: one for Nursing Teaching and the other has remained parking.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words centre, farmland with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • initial structure
  • renovations
  • expansions
  • hospital complex
  • infrastructure
  • layout
  • capacity
  • technological advances
  • environmental footprint
  • sustainability practices
  • pedestrian pathways
  • parking facilities
  • medical wards
  • specialist units
  • outpatient services
  • landscaping
  • public transport links
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