The diagram below show the change that have taken place ar queen mary hospital since its construction in 1960.

#show #change #place #ar #queen #mary #construction

The three maps illustrate the reformation that have made at Queen Mary Hospital in 1960, 1980 and 2000.

Overall

it is clear that

new building are added at the Queen Mary Hospital over the period shown, thas were the nursing school, cancer

centre

and pharmacy.

In contrast

, areas

such

as shopping

centre

and

farmland

have been removed. In 1960, there are three main places surrounding Queen Mary Hospital: a shopping

centre

next to the hospital and the main road and a

farmland

and a car park below.

However

farmland

and shopping mall were removed twenty years later. The

farmland

was replaced by a nursing school and the shopping

centre

was replaced by a cancer

centre

and a pharmacy attached to the hospital. In 2000, new changes have taken place. Pharmacy and Hospital have remained unchanged since 1980, the Cancer

Centre

has been expanded, taken the previous nursing school area.

Finally

, the area where the Car Park was, has slit up in two sides: one for Nursing Teaching and the other has remained parking.

Submitted by rachel131 on Wed Dec 06 2023

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words centre, farmland with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

173 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

initial structure
renovations
expansions
hospital complex
infrastructure
layout
capacity
technological advances
environmental footprint
sustainability practices
pedestrian pathways
parking facilities
medical wards
specialist units
outpatient services
landscaping
public transport links

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The diagram below show the change that have taken place ar queen mary hospital since its construction in 1960.

More and more people are move away from where their family and friends live. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that global environmental problems should be dealt with globally. Others think that they should be solved locally. What is your opinion?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement ? Grades encourage student to learn.

Some people think that secondary school children should study international news as one of the school subjects. Other people think that it is a waste of valuable school time. What do you think?