The diagram below show the change that have taken place ar queen mary hospital since its construction in 1960.

The three maps illustrate the reformation that have made at Queen Mary Hospital in 1960, 1980 and 2000.

Overall

Linking Words

it is clear that

Linking Words

new building are added at the Queen Mary Hospital over the period shown, thas were the nursing school, cancer

centre

Use synonyms

and pharmacy.

In contrast

Linking Words

, areas

such

Linking Words

as shopping

centre

Use synonyms

and

farmland

Use synonyms

have been removed. In 1960, there are three main places surrounding Queen Mary Hospital: a shopping

centre

Use synonyms

next to the hospital and the main road and a

farmland

Use synonyms

and a car park below.

However

Linking Words

farmland

Use synonyms

and shopping mall were removed twenty years later. The

farmland

Use synonyms

was replaced by a nursing school and the shopping

centre

Use synonyms

was replaced by a cancer

centre

Use synonyms

and a pharmacy attached to the hospital. In 2000, new changes have taken place. Pharmacy and Hospital have remained unchanged since 1980, the Cancer

Centre

Use synonyms

has been expanded, taken the previous nursing school area.

Finally

Linking Words

, the area where the Car Park was, has slit up in two sides: one for Nursing Teaching and the other has remained parking.

rachel131

Dec 6, 2023

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words centre, farmland with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

173 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

initial structure
renovations
expansions
hospital complex
infrastructure
layout
capacity
technological advances
environmental footprint
sustainability practices
pedestrian pathways
parking facilities
medical wards
specialist units
outpatient services
landscaping
public transport links

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