Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Write an essay expressing your point of view. Give reasons for your answers and provide relevant example and experience you might have.
The graph provides data
of
Change preposition
on
Use synonyms
hamburger
, Fix the agreement mistake
hamburgers
pizza
and fried Use synonyms
chicken
consumed by Mauritian teenagers between 1985 and 2015.
In 1985, Use synonyms
pizza
was by far the most popular product with about 60 numbers of Use synonyms
times
eaten per week. Use synonyms
Hamburger
and Fried Use synonyms
chicken
were eaten in similar quantities, the first one was approximately 10 Use synonyms
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
times
and the second one Use synonyms
is
just below Wrong verb form
was
of
10.
Change preposition
apply
However
, during Linking Words
this
25-year period, there was a dramatic decrease Linking Words
of
Change preposition
in
pizza
from 60 to 10 numbers of Use synonyms
times
. The consumption of Use synonyms
Use synonyms
hamburger
and fried Fix the agreement mistake
hamburgers
chicken
showed an upward trend steadily till 2005, but the consumption of fried Use synonyms
chicken
increased much less significantly. Use synonyms
According to
the graph, in 2000 the chart illustrates the same level of consumption of all types of products Linking Words
jus
around 40 Correct your spelling
just
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
times
.
Use synonyms
Overall
, it should Linking Words
also
be mentioned that at the start of the period, Linking Words
pizza
was the most popular fast food, which was replaced by Use synonyms
Use synonyms
hamburger
and fried Fix the agreement mistake
hamburgers
chicken
by 2015Use synonyms
Submitted by dulskywork on
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introduction conclusion present
The response lacks a clear introduction and conclusion which are necessary to frame the topic and summarize the main points of the discussion.
complete response
The essay does not address the given writing prompt about parenting but instead discusses a completely unrelated topic involving fast food consumption. This results in a complete failure to meet the task requirements.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay content should directly answer the prompt. In this case, the candidate should have discussed the comparative parenting abilities of men and women, supported by relevant examples and personal experience.
supported main points
The main points about parenting abilities and related societal roles need to be clearly supported by logical reasoning or specific examples, which is missing in the essay.
logical structure
The essay needs a logical structure that clearly progresses from the introduction to body paragraphs and then to a conclusion. Each paragraph should contain a single clear idea or argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.