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Writing Samples
Band 7

The tables give information about the temperatures and hours of daylight in London and Sydney during the same weekend in December 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The tables give information about the temperatures and hours of daylight in London and Sydney during the same weekend in December 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar charts provide information on temperatures and daylight hours in two countries (
London
Use synonyms
 and
Sydney
Use synonyms
) during the same weekend in
December
Use synonyms
 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, the average
temperature
Use synonyms
 in
London
Use synonyms
 was relatively lower than in
Sydney
Use synonyms
. Australia had a long daytime,
while
Linking Words
 the UK had less daytime during the weekend.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the highest
temperature
Use synonyms
 in
London
Use synonyms
 was 13
°C
Use synonyms
 on Saturday (
December
Use synonyms
 29, 2018), and the lowest
temperature
Use synonyms
 recorded was 3 °C on the same day.
However
Linking Words
, in
Sydney
Use synonyms
, the
temperature
Use synonyms
 reached a peak of 31 °C on Sunday,
December
Use synonyms
 30, 2018,
while
Linking Words
 the minimum
temperature
Use synonyms
 was 17
°C
Use synonyms
 on Friday,
December
Use synonyms
 28. Turning to sunrises, the average time of sunrise was
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
8.05 a.
m
Use synonyms
. in
London
Use synonyms
, and dawn was around 3.57 p.
m
Use synonyms
. Compared to the UK, sunrise in Australia was earlier at around 5.45 p.
m
Use synonyms
. and sunset at approximately 8.07 p.
m
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
London
Use synonyms
 received daylight for about 7 hours during the weekends,
while
Linking Words
Sydney
Use synonyms
 received it for approximately 14 hours.
Submitted by haroonamrose61 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 83%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words london, sydney, december, temperature, °c, m with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • temperatures
  • hours of daylight
  • comparison
  • London
  • Sydney
  • December 2018
  • weekend
  • information
  • data
  • summarise
  • select
  • report
  • features
  • analysis
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