In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Nowadays, the levels of healthiness and fitness are declining in some societies
due to
the
increase
in the average weight
of people
. I think this
is mainly because of their
sedentary lifestyles and the popularity of fast food, but there are some solutions.
A reason why people
have generally grown overweight and unhealthy is that almost
everyone either drives or takes public transport to work or school. As a result
, there has been a serious decline in most people
’s levels of physical activity
,leading them to burn fewer calories and gain weight
. Another reason could be the overconsumption of fast food. A cheeseburger has many high-calorie ingredients such
as Mozzarella cheese, sauce and bread. This
means that eating many cheeseburgers would definitely have negative effects on blood fat levels and increase
one’s weight
.
A possible solution to improve public health and fitness is for people
to increase
their
daily physical activity
.
Walking to work might be a great idea if people
live close to their workplaces, jogging in the morning or evening and taking
regular exercise at the gym. Verb problem
getting
In addition
, what governments can do is to
launch publicity campaigns against obesity so that Fix the infinitive
apply
people
are informed of the dangers of a high-calorie diet. For example
, posters could be designed that illustrate how back pain results from obesity and mounted in public areas and vehicles. This
would definitely encourage many to control their calorie intake.
In conclusion, the decline in health and fitness and increase
in the Correct article usage
the increase
weight
of many
people
in various countries owe
mainly to a lack of physical Change the form of the verb
owing
activity
and the high consumption of fast food. However
, these problems can be dealt with if people
increase
their daily physical activity
and are informed of the dangers of eating too much.Submitted by abdullaevayt on
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Provide a clearer overall structure, including better paragraphing and more explicit signposting to guide the reader through your argument.
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task achievement
Address all parts of the task more evenly; while you covered the causes, the solutions could be discussed in more depth.
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Incorporate more specific, detailed examples to support your points and illustrate the issues being discussed, which will strengthen your argument.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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