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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows the production of milk annually in four countries in 1990. 2000 and 2010. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the production of milk annually in four countries in 1990. 2000 and 2010. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#production #milk #four #countries #summaries #information #features #comparisons
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The table illustrates the quantity of
milk
Use synonyms
 produced in each year in four different countries in three different
years
Use synonyms
 with the
ten
Correct your spelling
ten-year
show examples
years
Use synonyms
 interval, starting from 1990. The table shows in litres.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen from the table that
ranking
Correct article usage
the ranking
show examples
 of countries that have
ability
Change the article
the ability
show examples
 to produce
milk
Use synonyms
 per year was still the same in three different
years
Use synonyms
.
Netherlands
Correct article usage
The Netherlands
show examples
 produced
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
milk
Use synonyms
 in all three
years
Use synonyms
. Considering
Netherlands
Correct article usage
The Netherlands
show examples
 and Australia,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
could produce
milk
Use synonyms
 for the vast majority of all.
However
Linking Words
, Australia seemed to reduce their production as well. For Australia, the amount of
milk
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was moderately drop
Change the verb form
moderately dropped
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 from around 11.2
million
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 to 9.1
million
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 in 20
years
Use synonyms
.
Instead
Linking Words
,
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
 minimally dropped their product quantity in 2000, from around 11.2 to 11.1
million
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 it rose to just above 11.4
million
Use synonyms
 in 2010.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, Tanzania and Guatemala had much lower
Use synonyms
milk producing
Add a hyphen
milk-producing
show examples
 ability when
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 to
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two countries, but they seemed to increase their product as well. In 1990, Tanzania and Guatemala can
product
Replace the word
produce
show examples
 87000 and 26000 litres respectively.
However
Linking Words
, it
gradualy
Correct your spelling
gradually
 increased
tp
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
 155,000 and 84000 respectively.
Submitted by bhurin.kua on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words milk, years, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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