IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Write a letter to a sports club. Tell them you are not satisfied with the service and have already let them know about this. Write ▪What exactly wrong with their service ▪What happened after you complained the first time ▪What you want the club to do after your letter

#sports #club #service #▪what #first #time
Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing
this
 to express my disappointment regarding the bad service that we members of the club are receiving despite paying a hefty amount of fees. I am a gold member of
this
 club ,and I took the initiative of writing about
this
 to management before as well but unfortunately
Add a comma
,
show examples
appropriate action has not
taken
Add a missing verb
been taken
show examples
 by any manager yet. The issue is with changing room door locks and sanitization of restrooms. The lock of the changing room has been broken for the
last
 few months and members do not feel safe
while
 using these rooms as anyone can enter inside as rooms are unlocked.
Moreover
, the smell from restrooms is unbearable seems like proper sanitization and cleaning are not done. I wrote my concern to management earlier as well but seems like no one paid attention to
this
 issue
this
 is very inappropriate and unsafe because of health-related and personal reasons. I request authorities pay attention to
this
 issue and get the door fixed
as well as
 to keep an eye on the sanitization of restrooms.
Otherwise
, disappointed members may leave the club
due to
 the unavailability of good services. I look forward to hearing a positive response. Yours sincerely, Gill
Submitted by gill.g24 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Greeting and Closing
Ensure the opening and closing phrases are more tailored to the purpose of the letter. For instance, you may start with 'I am compelled to write again owing to unresolved issues...', and close with a more direct yet polite request for a specific timeline for the solutions.
Single Idea per Paragraph
Your paragraphs should each address a single point clearly. The first paragraph is slightly congested with information. It would benefit from a clear differentiation between the two main issues.
Complete Response
Make sure to address all parts of the task bullet points with sufficient detail. You've mentioned the issues and previous communication, but elaborating on the desired outcome after this letter, possibly including a time frame for resolution, would enhance task completion.
Suitable Writing Tone
The tone of your letter is mostly suitable, courteous and formal. Avoid using slang or contractions to maintain the formality required for such a letter.
Logical Structure
In writing to a sports club management, maintain a logical flow between the background issue, previous attempts to contact, and the proposed solution. This will improve the cohesion and coherence of the letter.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: