We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Some believe that as we are not able to support everyone who needs help in nowadays world, we should centre ourselves in our country and communities.

This

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essay totally agrees with that statement by the fact that we are more performant when we help our nearer individuals and

also

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because we do not have the means to aid individuals that have different problems. Humans are more performant when they support people who are close.

Firstly

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, as we know better things that are around us than features about other countries we can easily solve a problem.

For example

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, when I visited Cameroun I realised that if I started trying to help families there, I would not be able to deal with any of the multiple features they had.

Consequently

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, I was not even useful to help others there and I was losing time to help people that I could really guide. Nowadays, everyday citizens do not have the means to support everyone who is asking for help. That can be explained easily by the simple fact that the earth is simply too big and we are too insignificant individually to have an impact on everybody.

For instance

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, in Colombia in 1999, there was not an economic situation good enough to think about helping Peru's population who was having a war thousands of miles away.

However

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, they could only help themselves with their limited means to solve their country's crisis.

To conclude

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, humans are more useful when they aid people near them and they do not even have the means to try to help the uncountable communities and countries in our colossal world. I wholeheartedly agree with the statement and I recommend anybody to focus on those closest to them.

Submitted by santos_dij on Fri Dec 08 2023

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introduction conclusion present

Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are clearly marked and encapsulate the main points of your argument effectively. Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, setting out your position well.

logical structure

Provide clear and logical transitions between your ideas and paragraphs to improve the flow of your essay. You've made a good attempt at creating a logical structure, but some transitions could be smoother.

supported main points

Support your main points with more specific and detailed examples. While you have provided examples, they could be further elaborated to strengthen your argument.

complete response

Make sure your essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt. You have demonstrated a clear understanding of the task and presented a complete argument.

clear comprehensive ideas

Clarify and elaborate on your ideas to give the reader a comprehensive understanding of your argument. Try to develop your ideas fully in each paragraph before moving on to the next point.

relevant specific examples

Include more specific examples that directly relate to the topic to ensure your essay accurately reflects the task requirements. While you have included examples, using more detailed and directly relevant ones would improve your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

global interconnectivity
international cooperation
ethics
moral obligation
geographical borders
diplomatic relations
economic stability
global security
resource allocation
expertise
international aid
dependency and development
sustainable solutions
local and global initiatives
community resilience

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We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Your opinion

2) Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People should only concentrate on a single skill for life because it is the best way to succeed. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some cities, public parks and open spaces are changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own food and vegetables. Do you think the benefits outweigh disadvantages?

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.