Many think religion should be taught in schools while others think it should be avoided. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Significant
number of people out there Change the article
A significant
The significant
holds
the perception that doctrine should be educated in schools, Correct subject-verb agreement
hold
by contrast
, other individuals also
share the sentiment that it should not be part in
Change preposition
of
educational
curriculum Correct article usage
the educational
hence
it should be halted. This
essay shall completely endorse the former assertion. However
, the two opposing views will be brought to bear in the following paragraphs after which a logical conclusion will be drawn.
On one hand, it is blatant that religion fosters spiritual development. Because it entails of
morals Change preposition
apply
as well as
ethics, if trainees are being taught of it, they would develop the habit of being curteous
Correct your spelling
courteous
as a result
making them to
become Change the verb form
apply
a responsible citizens
and Correct the article-noun agreement
responsible citizens
a responsible citizen
also
preventing them from unscrupulous activities such
as armed robbery, gambling and prostitution. For instance
, a survey was conducted by religious
group in Africa two years ago and revealed that countries Add an article
a religious
who
involve morality in various schools do not encounter more Correct pronoun usage
that
crime
activities, Replace the word
criminal
hence
it is not in doubt that the argument against doctrines in schools has a myriad of supporters because it is a plethora of advantages not only to the general public but also
in an individuals
.
Correct the article-noun agreement
individuals
an individual
On the other hand
, it is apparent that sometimes adding a myth in a curriculum can lead to misunderstanding between pupils. To explicate this
scenario, since individuals has
his or her own beliefs, one might not accept a different myth in view of Change the verb form
have
this
, conflict can arise. For example
, people who are being natured
in Muslim will find it difficult to accept Christianity and Replace the word
natural
is
the reason why conflicts Correct pronoun usage
this is
has
been Change the verb form
have
arising
in some part of Arabic nations. It is in light of Correct your spelling
rising
this
that avoiding myth
in education is a justifiable course of Fix the agreement mistake
myths
actions
.
In conclusion, after analyzing the two contradictory ideas. I strongly believe that doctrine should be part Fix the agreement mistake
action
in
education, Change preposition
of
nonetheless
, I recommend that the Ministry of Educaion
in various nations should educate Correct your spelling
Education
it
citizens about the subject and make it more interesting.Correct pronoun usage
its
Submitted by mboadi211 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, fails to follow a logical structure, and does not provide a convincing argument for the points made. Consider practicing essay structures that have a distinct introduction with a thesis statement, developed paragraphs with clear topic sentences, and a summarizing conclusion.
task achievement
The main ideas of the essay are underdeveloped and unsupported with relevant, specific examples. Exhibition of impartial discussion on both views is needed followed by a justified personal opinion. Work on expanding your ideas using more concrete and varied examples to substantiate your arguments.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?