IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation

#countries #home #people #case #situation
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
For several people, possessing a
house
 might be more essential than paying one to hire in a few nations. It is argued that
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
having our own
house
 is much more saving
money
 than spending some cash monthly to pay the rent. In my opinion,
this
 is a positive development since owning a
house
 is scarcely achieved by many people, especially millennials. It has been widely valued that owning a property always brings
much
Fix the agreement mistake
many
show examples
 more benefits than merely renting it
due to
 the reason for
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
 ownership
hence
 it will save our
money
 later. Even though buyers should provide initial
money
 to purchase the
house
 and make credit
payment
Fix the agreement mistake
payments
show examples
 for the rest, the fact that they will have the
house
at the end
 of the day.
This
 creates a feeling of relief since the
money
 we spend does not go to waste.
Moreover
, if they are capable of purchasing it
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 cash, they will save their big budget compared to
credit
Correct article usage
the credit
show examples
 method. In my personal view, possessing a property brings more benefits than renting it. It is evidently seen that the payment for a
house
 rent indicates an increasing price year by year. The people should be reliant on spending their earnings more on housing than daily necessities.
This
 mostly occurs in big cities where people’s salaries are almost half for
covering
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the
house
 renting.
Consequently
, they do not have many choices to be flexible in buying what they want.
Therefore
, they will not have enormous savings.
Furthermore
, in the future, the
house
 price will be so high that hinders young generations
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
 possibly
own
Wrong verb form
owning
show examples
 a
house
.
Thus
, possessing properties now is a positive development. In conclusion, a
house
that is
 owned is much more crucial than if it is rented
due to
 the reasons of
money
 savings. It
also
 shows a benefit aspect related to the rarity of
house
 ownership nowadays.
Submitted by bulqiamasud on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to provide a clear introduction with a thesis statement that directly addresses the question.
task achievement
Develop each main point fully, ensuring that relevant examples or evidence supports them.
coherence cohesion
Have a clear logical structure by organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a single main idea.
coherence cohesion
Utilize cohesive devices such as linking words to connect ideas clearly and coherently.
task achievement
Provide a conclusion that summarizes the main points and reiterates your position.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of complex sentence structures to demonstrate linguistic capability.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: