IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts give information about the three various elements (carbohydrates, protein and fat) of three meal plans, namely an average diet, a healthy diet and a healthy diet for sport.

The pie charts give information about the three various elements (carbohydrates, protein and fat) of three meal plans, namely an average diet, a healthy diet and a healthy diet for sport.
#information #three #elements #carbohydrates #protein #plans #diet #sport
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie charts illustrate the proportion of
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
gredients
Correct your spelling
ingredients
include
Wrong verb form
including
show examples
 protein, fat and
carbohydrates
Use synonyms
 in
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
type
Add an article
a type
show examples
 of diets that they are average, healthy and healthy for exercise.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
most
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
 percentage for every
diet
Use synonyms
 is for
carbohydrates
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 fat
consist
Change the verb form
consists
show examples
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 lowest sector for all of the graphs. In all habits, protein
occypies
Correct your spelling
occupies
 the second amount but only in the average
diet
Use synonyms
 takes the same place with
carbohydrates
Use synonyms
. In the average
diet
Use synonyms
, fat takes only two in ten proportion
while
Linking Words
 these
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 for the others stand at 40
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. In
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
, fat includes the same
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of the average
diet
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 in
Use synonyms
diet
Add an article
the diet
a diet
show examples
 for
sport
Add a comma
sport,
show examples
 it has
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 lower amount at 15
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the numbers for
carbohydrates
Use synonyms
 has eight in ten of the healthy
diet
Use synonyms
 for sport
while
Linking Words
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the healthy normal diets takes half of it. In the
last
Linking Words
 chart, it means the average
diet
Use synonyms
 that only includes 40
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
although
Linking Words
 it is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 large percentage
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
it is the lowest
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
 its percentages.
Submitted by mohammad.bameri.1380 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words carbohydrates, diet, percent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: