IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that space exploration is a waste of resources. Others think that it is essential for mankind to continue to explore the universe in which we live. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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Thanks to the advanced technology nowadays, it drives many people to seek and learn more about our universe and start
space
Use synonyms
 exploration. At
this
Linking Words
 point, the contentions regarding whether humankind should continue the journey or not. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will elaborate more on both facets
as well as
Linking Words
 express my own opinions. On one hand,
space
Use synonyms
 research provides a potential for discovering new
resources
Use synonyms
 and habitable planets. Over decades ago, technology was sufficiently competent, so humans could invent spacecraft and start to find alternative nonrenewable
resources
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as minerals, nature, and oil. Apart from that, as the climate change situation has dramatically deteriorated, searching for a new planet where the environment is similar to Earth is gaining public attention.
Therefore
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, it is reasonable that some people insist that
space
Use synonyms
 exploration is crucial.
On the other hand
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, some people, including myself, may claim that the journey is exorbitant since making one spaceship requires numerous
resources
Use synonyms
 and funds.
As
Correct word choice
When
show examples
 travelling to a universe where there is
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
extreme pressure, the vehicle must be extremely robust to ensure the safety of the astronauts which need expensive materials used to build the spacecraft.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the majority of the population
also
Linking Words
 deems that
instead
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 of gambling on the uncertain trip, the government should invest that money in other areas to address various essential issues
such
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 as wars, pandemics, and the environment.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
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 the
space
Use synonyms
 journey gives humanity
hopes
Correct subject-verb agreement
hope
show examples
 to find new available natural
resources
Use synonyms
 and dwellings, undeniably it costs a lot of investment and funds that can be used for other urgent problems. I personally reckon that there are many other problems waiting for the governments to solve them.
Hence
Linking Words
, they should pay attention to those imperative concerns first before considering
space
Use synonyms
 exploration.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. Linking phrases could be used more effectively to improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are present, strive to make the opinion even clearer in the introduction and reinforced in the conclusion for a stronger argumentative impact.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with more detailed explanations and make use of specific examples to strengthen arguments. Avoid general statements that do not effectively support your points.
task achievement
Ensure all parts of the task are fully covered. Address all aspects of the question to achieve a higher score on task response.
task achievement
Enhance clarity by presenting comprehensive ideas that directly answer the question. Refrain from veering into tangential issues.
task achievement
Incorporate a wider range of relevant and specific examples to substantiate the arguments presented in the essay. This will help to achieve a higher score for task response.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • astronomical costs
  • earthbound issues
  • tangible benefits
  • technological spin-offs
  • innovation
  • long-term investment
  • habitability
  • interplanetary travel
  • sustainable exploration
  • spacefaring nations
  • international collaboration
  • deep space
  • the final frontier
  • cosmic perspective
  • frontiers of science
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