Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To whtat extent do you agree or disagree?
There has been an ongoing argument among
people
that social media
sites have both benign and malignant effects on nations and individuals, but I believe that in general, their benefits are much greater than their drawbacks.
To begin
with, nowadays, social media
platforms have become a pervasive force, affecting individuals and education in various ways. In other words
, online communities
provide a wealth of information that helps people
stay informed about global events and topics of interest. For instance
, many university students use YouTube, which offers educational videos on a wide range of topics from science to history and literature. What can be said is that digital media
plays a crucial role in enhancing the quality of education of students.
Moreover
, social media
and communities
are deeply interconnected; social media
has fundamentally changed how communities
interact and collaborate. Through social media
, communities
can share information, provide emotional support, and advocate for others. A prominent example of this
is Egyptian people
who call for an end to the genocide of the people
of Gaza and donate food, clothing and money to help those in need in the sector. Hence
, this
example demonstrates how the internet is serving as a powerful tool for raising awareness about people
's concerns.
In conclusion, after
this
essay has manifested the benevolent impact of such
sites, it can be claimed that they are paramount for occupation-based opportunities and global recognition of events. I restate my opinion that this
is a positive development and people
should cultivate their immense.Submitted by ahmedteleb500 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Strengthen the logical flow between paragraphs. While each paragraph has its own main point, transitions between points could be smoother to ensure the essay reads more coherently as a whole.
Task Response
Develop your ideas more comprehensively. Some points, while relevant, remain underdeveloped. Adding more details and examples could make your arguments stronger.
Coherence and Cohesion
Refine and expand the conclusion. The conclusion should summarize the main points discussed in the essay and restate the thesis more strongly. Additionally, avoid abrupt endings.
Task Response
The introduction clearly states the opinion and sets up the scope of the essay effectively.
Task Response
Relevant and specific examples, such as the use of YouTube for educational purposes and the example of Egyptian people supporting Gaza, effectively support the main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, and each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, which contributes to the clarity of the response.
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