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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Nowadays university education is very expensive. Some people say that universities should reduce their fees, especially for the less fortunate students or those coming from rural areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#university #education #people #universities #fees #students #areas
Education
 is always an important factor in improving
people
's lives quality. Some
people
 think that the
government
 should
support
 the
education
 expenses for
population
Add an article
the population
a population
show examples
 who desire to study. I completely agree with
this
 statement, and in
this
 essay, I will discuss the reasons for
this
 and provide examples to
support
 my viewpoint. Generally speaking, there is a wide range of reasons why
people
 believe that the
government
 should provide study fees for anyone
can
Correct pronoun usage
who can
show examples
 bring a variety of advantages to the students and society.
Firstly
, reduces inequality in
association
Add an article
the association
an association
show examples
.
For instance
, in Germany, the
government
support
 the tuition fees for both domestic and international student.
Moreover
, a
further
 benefit is that
education
 will decrease the poverty rates, crime, and unemployment problems in society. In fact,
people
 will receive more opportunities to find a job that relates to their field of study resulting in a reduction of poverty.
Therefore
, highly accessible
education
 improves the happiness and well-being of both students and their families in every nation around the world.
In addition
,
Education
 improves the
country
.
People
's knowledge.
Therefore
, a
country
 which has a highly efficient
population
 will raise a positive aspect compared to a
country
 in which the
government
 does not pay adequate attention to the
education
 of the
population
 in every aspect.
Education
 is very valuable for
people
. In conclusion, there are clear that the benefit of free learning can improve not only the quality of the
population
's lives and reduce society's problems but
also
 develop the
country
 in a better way. So, the
government
 should
support
education
 fees for anyone who wants and if their countries have a good
education
, their countries will develop.
Submitted by polash.kahari on

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coherence cohesion
You present a clear argument with an appropriate introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, some areas of the essay lack a strong logical sequence which could improve the flow of information. Consider utilizing a clearer progression of ideas throughout the essay.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task and provides relevant ideas and examples. However, to achieve a higher score, elaborate more on your arguments and provide a balanced discussion on the topic. Include more specific examples to reinforce your points and illustrate the real-world implications of your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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