Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. Do you agree or disagree?

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In our developing world, virtually all the countries in the world organize different competitions in close collaboration with each other in order to identify the best athletes or players.
In other words
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, the main root of coordinating international
sports
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events is to reinforce the ties of friendship and peace among nations. On the one hand, popular events
such
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as the Football World Cup, Olympic games, and Champions League have massive global followings and have become cultural touchstones, bringing together people from all walks of life and different countries.
As a result
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,
sports
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tournaments bring numerous benefits to the host nation's economy and society.
Besides
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, during
sports
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events, participants make friends and build stable relationships with them. I strongly believe that winning the competition doesn't matter, the crucial thing is participating.
On the other hand
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, some
sports
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matches can make international relations worse. To set an example, competitors can not control their emotions in some circumstances.
For instance
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, if the ref doesn't give a penalty kick, footballers say dirty words to the ref.
Furthermore
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, some participants tend to injure their rivals on purpose. Sometimes, after the matches, the two rivals blame each other and their patriotic emotions explode in an aggressive way. Even a much worse thing is that the troubles caused by losing games affect the players directly. In conclusion, I strongly believe that international
sports
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occasions can be one of the foodways to ease tensions
as well as
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to release patriotism safely.
Hence
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, I think that games can not be the fundamental way
for
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to
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the sound patriotism or peaceful international relations.
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea with relevant supporting details. Expand on the points made and give more detailed examples to strengthen the argument.
Task Achievement
Stay focused on the prompt throughout the essay. While you addressed the topic, the argument would benefit from stronger examples and a more balanced discussion of how sports events both ease tensions and could potentially exacerbate them. Aim to directly address the prompt in the introduction and conclusion to ensure a full response.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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