Some people prefer to go to health clubs and gyms for health care, some say the walking and climbing stairs are more effective. Discuss both vies and give your opinion.

In modern times, some individuals tend to go to
health
clubs
and gyms for exercise,
however
, others say that light
exercising
Replace the word
exercise
show examples
such
as walking and climbing stairs is more effective in maintaining their
health
. On one hand,
it is clear that
many
people
have participated in
health
clubs
and gyms these days,
according to
developing
health
-related businesses. When
people
work out at
health
clubs
, they do not have to purchase particular machines, because they can enjoy various exercise machines
due to
well-organised facilities.
Also
, they do not have to worry about unexpected injuries at the
gym
.
However
, applying to the
gym
would be burdensome for
people
.
On the other hand
, light exercising could be a great alternative option because doing
this
is cost-effective and eco-friendly.
For example
, when someone realised the need to be in shape, he or she just got out and walked around town without applying to
health
clubs
.
This
could be an efficient approach when they put exercising into their daily routine, and
also
, they do not have to rush to meet the operating hours of the
gym
.
However
, working alone could be boring and avoiding motivations which are crucial role in persisting working out. In my opinion, it is evident that light exercising which is done alone is suitable for
people
who are just starting their
exercising
Replace the word
exercise
show examples
routine,
however
, going to the
gym
could be more attractive to individuals who have worked out every day
due to
the need to get motivation. In conclusion, both working out at the
gym
and walking around the town have great advantages, respectively.
Therefore
, I could suggest both of them to someone on their tastes because the most important thing is to keep going with their exercise and put it into their daily routines.
Submitted by jsy4893 on

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relevant specific examples
To further improve, focus on providing more relevant and specific examples to support your points. You mentioned some general ideas, but including concrete examples can strengthen your arguments.
logical structure
The logical structure of your essay is mostly clear, but it can be enhanced by ensuring each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Use transitional phrases to make connections between your ideas more explicit.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarity of ideas is good, but make sure to develop each idea fully before moving on to the next one. Expanding on the benefits or drawbacks mentioned can help provide a more comprehensive discussion.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly states both views and sets up the discussion well.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the discussion and restates your opinion, which is important for coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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