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Writing Samples
Band 7

Online education and training is becoming increasingly popular in the business ‎world.Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?‎

#education #business #‎world #development
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A transformative shift toward digital-based learning in businesses has recently occurred, especially in the post-COVID pandemic.
While
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 online job training poses certain challenges,
this
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 essay contends that the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages. One compelling aspect of online workplace education is its potential to enhance budget and
time
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 efficiency for enterprises significantly. Traditional job training often requires substantial investments in hiring trainers, accommodation, and transportation.
However
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, with online training, companies can tighten their budgets by conducting sessions through video conferences, eliminating the need for physical presence.
For instance
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, a multinational corporation saved significant costs by implementing online training programs, allowing
employees
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 from various locations to participate without incurring travel expenses.
Moreover
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, online training offers unparalleled flexibility and
time
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 savings.
Employees
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 can seamlessly transition from regular tasks to online sessions with minimal preparation required.
This
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 flexibility allows workers to efficiently manage their
time
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 and balance job responsibilities with ongoing training. An example of
this
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 is a tech company that witnessed a boost in productivity as
employees
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 engaged in online training during less busy periods, maximizing both work and learning opportunities.
However
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, these benefits come with certain challenges, primarily the risk of burnout among
employees
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. The intensive and fast-paced nature of online training and the remote learning environment can contribute to burnout.
Employees
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 may struggle to comprehensively understand materials without immediate clarification, leading to increased stress levels.
Additionally
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, external distractions in a home environment may
further
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 hinder focused learning. In conclusion, despite potential drawbacks
such
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 as burnout and distractions, the advantages of cost,
time
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 efficiency, and flexibility make the shift to online training more advantageous.
Submitted by 2024successielts on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs have clear topic sentences that state the main idea and that there is a logical flow between them. You should connect paragraphs and sentences using a range of cohesive devices and transition words.
coherence cohesion
Conclude your essay by summarizing the points discussed and your stance, reinforcing your argument. In your conclusion, avoid introducing new ideas or points that have not been discussed.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task. Provide a clear position throughout the response and ensure that it is relevant to the question. Extend and support your main points with specific examples or explanations, and engage with the prompt critically by recognizing the complexities of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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