In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?

The number of sports people using illegal
substances
to improve their performance has increased in many sporting events.
This
essay believes that many
athletes
are taking banned
substances
to win the
competition
and exceed capabilities beyond their limits.
This
can be prevented by requiring
athletes
to take drug tests before the
competition
and
punish
Wrong verb form
punishing
show examples
them if they have violated the rules. Some sportsmen are taking banned
substances
because they want to be the best athlete in the
competition
. It is in their nature to be on top among other competitors, and winning is their main goal.
In addition
, using illegal
substances
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
exceed their abilities by boosting their physical strength. They are tempted to do
this
because it helps them to handle
such
excruciating
trainings
Fix the agreement mistake
training
show examples
needed to achieve their goals.
For instance
, Michael Phelps, a professional swimmer, confessed that the use of an illegal substance has helped him become an Olympic Gold medallist. One solution to eradicate
this
problem is to test all
athletes
before the
competition
so that they will be discouraged from using banned
substances
, allowing fair
competition
among
athletes
.
Moreover
, sports organizations should
also
punish
athletes
who are taking performance-enhancing drugs,
such
as banning them from playing any sports event.
This
will give them lessons and take away the temptations of using illegal
substances
.
For example
, the Tour de France organization
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
banned Edward Armstrong from entering the bike racing
competition
and stripped down all his trophies because of his drug violations. In conclusion, many
athletes
nowadays use illegal
substances
to win the
competition
and exceed their physical capabilities.
However
, it is vital to have fair
competition
, and
this
can be eradicated by requiring the
athletes
to do drug tests and ban them if found guilty.
Submitted by katiakardash07 on

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task achievement
The essay partially addresses the two aspects of the question by explaining the reasons for athletes using banned substances and offering possible solutions. However, there was no development of ideas or detailed explanation and not all parts of the task were adequately covered. More development and expansion on each point would strengthen the response.
coherence cohesion
The essay's logical structure is adequate, and there is a clear introduction and conclusion. Nevertheless, the essay would benefit from better use of cohesive devices to link ideas more clearly throughout the text. Furthermore, the main points are supported, but additional support and further elaboration would create a stronger argument.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Performance-enhancing drugs (PEDs)
  • Doping
  • Anti-doping regulations
  • Detection methods
  • Ban substances
  • Ethical issues
  • Health risks
  • Fair play
  • Sportsmanship
  • Stakes
  • Pressure to succeed
  • Enforcement
  • Awareness programs
  • Testing frequency
  • Entourage
  • Science advancement
  • Financial gains
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