IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that climate has the greatest effect on people's way of life. Other believe that the economy of the region has the greatest effect. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

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It is thought that
climate
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 has the most impact on
people
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's lifestyles
while
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 others argue that the
economy
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 is.
While
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 recently many
people
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 have been heavily impacted by
climate
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 occurrences, I believe that the
economy
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 has the greatest effect because it shapes how
people
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 experience
climate
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 impacts.
Climate
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 effects, mainly
climate
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change
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, have been regarded as humankind's recent greatest problem. With the earth getting warmer time after time, the impacts are felt by the whole planet through a myriad of ways,
such
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 as extreme weather events, droughts, and floods that happen across the globe.
As a result
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, many
people
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 have to adapt to the stressful conditions they must face
due to
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 the occurrences.
For example
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, Pakistan experienced massive floods in 2022 that displaced an estimated 8-9 million
people
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due to
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 extreme rains, making it the world's largest disaster displacement in the
last
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 decade.
However
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, I think that the
economy
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 plays a bigger role in
people
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's way of life because it dictates how
people
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 are dealing with
climate
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 effects. Financial capacity plays a pivotal role in shaping how
countries
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 and their citizens live their lives, including dealing with
climate
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change
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. Developed
countries
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 adapt better to
climate
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change
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whereas
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 developing
countries
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 have to deal with
climate
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change
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 with greater efforts.
Due to
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 their financial capacity,
while
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 poor
countries
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 are struggling to protect their
countries
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, rich
countries
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 could implement various adaptation projects to protect their
people
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.
Moreover
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, high-income
countries
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 could
also
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 provide their citizens with better basic services,
such
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 as basic infrastructure and healthcare services that improve
people
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's response to
climate
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change
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.
For instance
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,
according to
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 the IPCC reports, high-income
countries
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 are considered to have better adaptive capacity compared with their poorer counterparts.
To conclude
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,
while
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climate
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change
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 greatly affects
people
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's lives, I believe the
economy
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 has greater effects because it shapes how
people
Use synonyms
 experience
climate
Use synonyms
change
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples or case studies to enhance your position on the economy's impact on lifestyle. This could strengthen your argument further.
coherence cohesion
Include transitional phrases or sentences when moving between different ideas or examples to make the essay flow more seamlessly.
task achievement
Ensure each paragraph links clearly to the main question. Repeatedly ask yourself if your claims directly address whether the climate or economy impacts lifestyle more.
task achievement
The essay effectively discusses both sides of the argument, a key requirement for a higher Task Achievement score.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly sets up the topic and states your position, which strengthens the overall Coherence and Cohesion of the essay.
task achievement
Good use of relevant examples, such as the Pakistan floods and IPCC report, supports your claims well.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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