Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; others believe only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

Some
people
think that individual action shows no benefit to preserving the
environment
and that big corporations and
governments
are the ones responsible for taking care of nature. Personally, I think that both
people
and large entities should engage in eco-friendly activities in order to generate a positive impact on the ecosystem. Of course,
governments
and large
companies
have a greater responsibility to address environmental issues. There is an infinite list of things that they can do. The government, for its part, can enforce policy so as to diminish pollution.
For example
, the Argentinean government implemented subsidies
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
public transportation.
This
made public transportation more attractive to the Argentinean population, resulting in more
people
taking buses, trains and subways
instead
of driving cars; which reduced the carbon footprint tremendously.
Similarly
,
companies
can invest in renewable energies in order to avoid relying on fossil fuels. As follows, solar power could be considered in food factories to run machines and other engines used in the manufacturing of, namely, processed food
instead
of utilizing unsustainable energy sources. Unlike popular belief, citizens
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
are environmentally aware engage in numerous amount of activities to protect the
environment
, and these have the power to make a positive impact on the
environment
.
For instance
, many
people
recycle at home. It is proven that separating rubbish into organic and inorganic makes it possible for the material to be reutilized
instead
of being dumped in the wild, which would contaminate the
environment
. All things considered, it is not true that only big
companies
and
governments
can avoid environmental degradation. I believe that collaboration between individuals,
governments
, and
companies
is necessary to improve the ecosystem.
Submitted by tamaracheroki on

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Task Achievement
Ensure a clear position throughout the essay, aligning with the argument from the introduction to the conclusion. While both sides of the argument are presented, there is some inconsistency in the position taken.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on developing clear paragraphing with topic sentences that lead the reader into the content of each paragraph. There is evidence of logical sequencing, but better cohesive devices could enhance readability.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas across sentences and paragraphs. While some devices are used effectively, others can be included to improve the logical flow.
Task Achievement
Continue to provide relevant examples to support main points. This is a strength in your essay that you should maintain and potentially develop further.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental awareness
  • sustainable practices
  • renewable energy
  • carbon footprint
  • waste reduction
  • conservation
  • ecosystem
  • pollution
  • climate change
  • responsibility
  • leadership
  • legislation
  • investment
  • collaboration
  • systemic change
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