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Writing Samples /
Band 6

the map shows developments, which took place in the bookstore between 2000 and now.

the map shows developments, which took place in the bookstore between 2000 and now.
#developments #place #bookstore
The two maps show the previous layout of
bookstore
Add an article
a bookstore
the bookstore
show examples
 in 2000 and how it is currently after the renovation.
Overall
,
it is clear that
 the size of the
bookstore
 remains the same.
However
, there are some rearrangements related to several book sections
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
with most noticeable addition of
café
Correct article usage
a café
show examples
 inside the building. In 2000, the
bookstore
 had its biggest area designated for fiction
books
, followed by
non-fiction
Correct article usage
the non-fiction
show examples
 genre as its second biggest section. The
travel related
Add a hyphen
travel-related
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books
located
Add a missing verb
are located
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 near the entrance, next to the newly published
books
 and the service desk. Other sections like Art, Hobbies and Cookery
located
Add a missing verb
are located
show examples
 at the centre of the building. After the renovation, it can be seen that the
bookstore
 entrance,
travel related
Add a hyphen
travel-related
show examples
books
, new
books
 section and
also
 service desk remain the same,
while
 the area previously used solely for Fiction sections is now divided into more varied
books
 categories
together with
books
 related to art, hobbies and cookery. The fiction section
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
previously located on the corner of the
bookstore
 is now given into non-fiction genres. The most noticeable change is there is a new café and three tables located at the centre of the library.
Submitted by firmanrasyidi on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words bookstore, books with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remains" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • depicts
  • changes
  • occurred
  • transformations
  • developments
  • span
  • visual
  • comparison
  • illustrates
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