Some parents give their children everything that their children ask for or allow them to do whatever they want to do. Is this good for children? What could be consequences for these children when they grow up?

Some

people

Use synonyms

hold a view that helping other

countries

Use synonyms

is equal to helping ourselves, so many

countries

Use synonyms

with high levels of wealth would love to donate funds to not rich

countries

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

behaviour does not bring advantages to

sovle

Correct your spelling

solve

poverty. Personally, I agree

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that developed

countries

Use synonyms

should stop giving financial assistance to poor

countries

Use synonyms

, in reverse, they need to take other measures. In

this

Linking Words

essay, it will

expain

Correct your spelling

explain

personal

Correct pronoun usage

my personal

show examples

view of

this

Linking Words

topic and give

exmples

Correct your spelling

examples

. In some poor

countries

Use synonyms

, they don't know much about development even if we give them money to change, they still waste the aid.

For example

Linking Words

, in some low level income

coutries

Correct your spelling

countries

such

Linking Words

as Africa, they have

recvied

Correct your spelling

received

many funds from other

coutries

Correct your spelling

countries

to improve the condition of

Use synonyms

people'

Change noun form

people's

show examples

living,

however

Linking Words

nowdays

Correct the word

nowadays

show examples

, there are still some

people

Use synonyms

Correct pronoun usage

who do

show examples

not have enough food for their daily life.

Secondly

Linking Words

government

Use synonyms

play an essential role in solving poverty.

Although

Linking Words

there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

government

Use synonyms

corruption

Change preposition

show examples

solving

proverty

Correct your spelling

poverty

, it shouldn't

been

Change the verb form

show examples

seen

Change preposition

as a

show examples

negative thing. The

government

Use synonyms

could make more policies for

helping

Replace the word

help

show examples

the poor

instead

Linking Words

benifits

Correct your spelling

benefits

benefit

from the funding

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

they have

recived

Correct your spelling

received

from other

develpoed

Correct your spelling

developed

countries

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, in some

low income

Add a hyphen

low-income

show examples

areas,

people

Use synonyms

could not afford to

rend

Wrong verb form

rent

show examples

a house or buy an

appartment

Correct your spelling

apartment

. The

government

Use synonyms

put a house

pocliy

Correct your spelling

policy

into

priacte

Correct your spelling

practise

practice

to solve

this

Linking Words

problem. The policy could be building houses for homeless

people

Use synonyms

. In conclusion,

compare

Wrong verb form

compared

show examples

to giving money to poorer

contries

Correct your spelling

countries

directly, the

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

should know what policy will help their

people

Use synonyms

and make an

effectent

Correct your spelling

effective

policy to

sovel

Correct your spelling

solve

Correct article usage

the problem

show examples

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

they are facing.

ysh424

Dec 10, 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay should have a clearer logical structure and better organization of ideas. Transition words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs should be used effectively to guide the reader.

coherence cohesion

Ensure the introduction and conclusion are clear and directly address the essay prompt. The introduction should clearly present the thesis, while the conclusion should summarize the main points without introducing new information.

coherence cohesion

Provide more detailed support for each main point with clear examples and explanations. Make sure each body paragraph focuses on a single idea, and expand upon it thoroughly before moving to the next point.

task achievement

The response must directly address the question, providing a complete discussion of the issues raised. Ensure that the position is clear and maintained throughout the essay, with a logical argument that clearly answers the prompt.

task achievement

Ideas should be explained fully and clearly, with detailed reasoning and examples if possible. Avoid broad statements by focusing on specific aspects of the issue and examining them in-depth.

task achievement

Use specific and relevant examples to illustrate the points you make. These examples should be directly related to the question and provide evidence of your claims, strengthening your argument.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

indulgence
overindulgence
leniency
emotional resilience
rejection
entitlement
realistic expectations
self-regulated behavior
egocentric
financial management
professional relationships
collaboratively
criticism
appreciation
value
effort

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In recent years sports stars have become increasingly famous and wealthy. For some this is a benefit, raising the profile of sports, but for others, it is a negative influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.