In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
In recent years, the improvement of human life has led to an impressive
lifespan
in a lot of countries. Some Use synonyms
people
worry that Use synonyms
this
situation causes trouble for the governments, Linking Words
while
others believe it is advantageous to have more elders. In my opinion, the benefits of Linking Words
people
having longer lifespans significantly outweigh the drawbacks Use synonyms
due to
two main reasons.
Linking Words
First,
since Linking Words
people
are living longer than before, the working period of Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
also
increases, which is a great support for economic development. Japan, Linking Words
for instance
, is a country with a surprisingly high mean Linking Words
lifespan
. The age of retirement here is Use synonyms
also
much higher than in other countries. Some elderly Linking Words
people
are even willing to work after retirement because they think a lifestyle without working is boring. Use synonyms
As a consequence
, the Linking Words
overall
performance of Japanese during their lives is much better which leads to rapid economic development. Linking Words
Therefore
, Japanese society benefits greatly from civilians' long lifespans.
Linking Words
Second,
elderly Linking Words
people
are a valuable source of knowledge that helps increase the quality of high-level jobs. As an example, Use synonyms
due to
the short Linking Words
lifespan
in the past, only a few Use synonyms
people
were well-educated to perform complex tasks like engineering. Use synonyms
In contrast
, the extended Linking Words
lifespan
in the modern era allowed more and more talented individuals to fully explore their abilities and satisfy requirements for higher careers Use synonyms
such
as lawyer, doctor or astronaut. Linking Words
This
qualified manpower is the driving force behind the technological insights in advanced nations Linking Words
such
as the USA or Japan.
In conclusion, the ageing population is a blessing for the society. Thanks to the notable advantages Linking Words
this
phenomenon brings to Linking Words
the
governments and their citizens, we have the Correct article usage
apply
opportunities
to develop our community.Fix the agreement mistake
opportunity
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task achievement
Ensure that the essay directly addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages. While the advantages are well-explained, there is a lack of detail on the disadvantages, which affects the balance of the argument and completeness of the response.
task achievement
Work on developing a more balanced argument by dedicating equal parts of the essay to both sides of the issue. By doing this, you will present a more comprehensive response that aligns with the requirements of the question.
task achievement
Include specific examples to support each point made. While you have provided general examples of the benefits of an aging population, including particular instances or statistics can improve the essay's persuasiveness and relevancy.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a clear logical structure throughout the essay with distinct paragraphs for each main idea. Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to introduce the central idea and employ cohesive devices to create fluidity between points.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that the introduction and conclusion are clear, with the introduction setting out the topic and your position, and the conclusion summarizing the main points and restating your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Support each of your main points with well-developed arguments and relevant examples. This will enhance the essay by providing a clear understanding of the reasons behind your viewpoint.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...