Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (write 250)
The world of
working
has lots of variety in one Replace the word
work
company
, any different
in income, position, or even task. Replace the word
difference
As these
kinds of things should be a factor that Correct word choice
These
pay’s
rate is not equal like in CEOs and ships get higher revenues than other employees. In my point, I agree that they deserved these higher return Change noun form
pay
rate
.
The first reason is that CEOs or Fix the agreement mistake
rates
executive
are the Fix the agreement mistake
executives
leader
, they take a huge and heavy responsibilities, Change the noun form
leaders
they
need to handle and manage Correct word choice
and they
overall
Correct article usage
the overall
of
industry. Change preposition
apply
Moreover
, taking care a
number of their employees Change preposition
of a
are
their Correct subject-verb agreement
is
duties
as well. Fix the agreement mistake
duty
For example
, if company
Add an article
the company
a company
got
Wrong verb form
gets
fire
, even though who Wrong verb form
fired
did
is one of Unnecessary verb
apply
subordinates
, the leader is the one who Add an article
the subordinates
assume
Change the verb form
assumes
of
the problems and Change preposition
apply
take
care of the damages which occurred in Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
factory
.
Correct article usage
the factory
Furthermore
, people
who became
a leader Wrong verb form
become
has
plenty of Correct subject-verb agreement
have
knowledges
which can Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
be apply
Change the verb form
be applied
for
their job. They study Change preposition
to
in
higher degrees, like a master’s degree or in Change preposition
for
Ph.D.
and several kinds of academic Correct your spelling
Ph.
knowledges
. For Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
instant
, Replace the word
instance
CEO
in a vehicle Correct article usage
a CEO
company
is
not only Unnecessary verb
apply
required
Verb problem
apply
the
understanding of Correct article usage
an
industry
but Add an article
the industry
also
in
MBA to be able to manage Correct your spelling
an
people
and company
in terms of economic, and Correct article usage
a company
phycological
knowledge to cope with Correct your spelling
psychological
people in
communication Change preposition
people's
skill
.
In summary, in real life, we have a lot of competitions which Fix the agreement mistake
skills
people
have to fight for, the more
higher Change the word
apply
position
they get, Correct article usage
the position
they
more responsibility and risk are Correct your spelling
the
return
. Wrong verb form
returned
Company
should pay higher revenues for leaders, Add an article
The company
A company
as a result
of the difficulty in their task
, Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
the
responsibilities, and Correct article usage
apply
knowledges
.Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
Submitted by writersdiary101 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Introduction/Conclusion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. It begins abruptly and does not have a clear final paragraph summarizing the arguments made. An effective essay should have a clear introduction that introduces the topic and a conclusion that summarizes the main points.
Paragraph Structure
Use clear, topic-centred paragraphs to structure the essay. Each paragraph should contain a main idea followed by supporting details. This essay's paragraphs could be more focused, and transitions between ideas could be smoother.
Supporting Examples
Support main points with specific examples. This essay provides general statements without concrete examples to illustrate the points being made. Include relevant examples or data to strengthen your argument.
Logical Flow
Work on maintaining a consistent and logical flow throughout the essay. Each paragraph should logically follow the previous one, leading the reader clearly through your arguments. This essay sometimes jumps between ideas without clear connections.
Task Response
Respond fully to the task by directly addressing the extent to which you agree or disagree throughout the essay. Make sure your opinion is clear and carried consistently throughout. This essay could be clearer in stating the writer's opinion and linking it to the discussion.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite