Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What effects will this have on society?

A recent study reflects the major concern regarding the
crime
rate after the completion of their
punishment
.
People
are indulged in the
crime
again after their release and no major change
found
Add a missing verb
is found
show examples
. There are multiple factors responsible for
this
issue but at the same time, the remedial measures are
also
there to tackle
this
menace.
To begin
with, the major cause is corruption in the judiciary
system
. Our judiciary and jails are not well equipped
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
strict
punishment
and set an example for the future. Money is damaging the complete
system
and motivating
people
to commit
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
again and again.
Moreover
, the
punishment
system
is not efficiently managed at
jail
Correct article usage
the jail
show examples
level and culprits
easly
Correct your spelling
easily
get
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
access to mobile phones, outside food and other luxuries
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
jail
staff.
For example
, a recent well-known case of a
punjabi
Change the capitalization
Punjabi
show examples
artist where the prime suspect
while
the interrogation was publishing the stories and posts from his Instagram account only because of the corrupt
jail
system
.
Moreover
, the
crime
after the release of a
prisioner
Correct your spelling
prisoner
can
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
the whole community and it can lead to
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
increase in gangsters. These gangsters will grow rapidly and will perform
such
activities rapidly in
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
untill
Correct your spelling
until
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
effective
punishment
enforced
Add a missing verb
is enforced
show examples
. They will not be afraid of the police and the law of the country.
Furthermore
, the
crime
rate will increase rapidly and
people
will be afraid of these
people
.
For instance
, it will become easy to kill
people
by giving money to these
people
as they will know how to escape from the law and get back to their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
.
To conclude
, I would like to assert that repeating
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
after getting
punishment
is causing majorly because of the corruption in the
jail
management
system
and our judiciary.
Consequently
,
this
will increase the
crime
rate and
people
will lose trust in the
system
.
Submitted by hiteshpaul on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure logical sequencing of paragraphs and maintain a clear progression of ideas throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices appropriately and effectively.
coherence cohesion
Introduce and conclude your essay clearly, reflecting the prompt accurately and linking back to the thesis.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task, showing that you have understood the question and are making a clear argument with relevant ideas.
task achievement
Expand on your main ideas by supporting them with more well-developed and specific examples.
task achievement
Make sure that your ideas are not only clear but also comprehensive, covering the prompt in a way that shows a deep understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: