Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What effects will this have on society?

#criminals #crimes #prison #effects #society

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A recent study reflects the major concern regarding the

crime

Use synonyms

rate after the completion of their

punishment

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People

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are indulged in the

crime

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again after their release and no major change

found

Add a missing verb

is found

show examples

. There are multiple factors responsible for

this

Linking Words

issue but at the same time, the remedial measures are

also

Linking Words

there to tackle

this

Linking Words

menace.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the major cause is corruption in the judiciary

system

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. Our judiciary and jails are not well equipped

Change preposition

for

show examples

strict

punishment

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and set an example for the future. Money is damaging the complete

system

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and motivating

people

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to commit

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crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

again and again.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the

punishment

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system

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is not efficiently managed at

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jail

Correct article usage

the jail

show examples

level and culprits

easly

Correct your spelling

easily

get

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

access to mobile phones, outside food and other luxuries

Change preposition

from

show examples

jail

Use synonyms

staff.

For example

Linking Words

, a recent well-known case of a

punjabi

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Punjabi

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artist where the prime suspect

while

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the interrogation was publishing the stories and posts from his Instagram account only because of the corrupt

jail

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system

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Moreover

Linking Words

, the

crime

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after the release of a

prisioner

Correct your spelling

prisoner

can

effect

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affect

show examples

the whole community and it can lead to

the

Correct article usage

show examples

increase in gangsters. These gangsters will grow rapidly and will perform

such

Linking Words

activities rapidly in

future

Correct article usage

the future

show examples

untill

Correct your spelling

until

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

effective

punishment

Use synonyms

enforced

Add a missing verb

is enforced

show examples

. They will not be afraid of the police and the law of the country.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the

crime

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rate will increase rapidly and

people

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will be afraid of these

people

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For instance

Linking Words

, it will become easy to kill

people

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by giving money to these

people

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as they will know how to escape from the law and get back to their

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

To conclude

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, I would like to assert that repeating

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crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

after getting

punishment

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is causing majorly because of the corruption in the

jail

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management

system

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and our judiciary.

Consequently

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this

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will increase the

crime

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rate and

people

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will lose trust in the

system

Use synonyms

Submitted by hiteshpaul on Mon Dec 11 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure logical sequencing of paragraphs and maintain a clear progression of ideas throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

Use a range of cohesive devices appropriately and effectively.

coherence cohesion

Introduce and conclude your essay clearly, reflecting the prompt accurately and linking back to the thesis.

task achievement

Fully address all parts of the task, showing that you have understood the question and are making a clear argument with relevant ideas.

task achievement

Expand on your main ideas by supporting them with more well-developed and specific examples.

task achievement

Make sure that your ideas are not only clear but also comprehensive, covering the prompt in a way that shows a deep understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

306 words

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Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What effects will this have on society?

Your opinion

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The use of social media such as Facebook or Twitter is replacing face-to-face contact this century. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?