IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Student learn far more with their teachers than with other sources (the Internet or television). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#student #teachers #sources #internet #television
Pupils considering modern science to gain
knowledge
 are utilizing the
Internet
 and television
instead
 of
teachers
.
This
 is true and I agree with the statement that learners are learning from modern resources like laptops and big screens
instead
 of
teachers
' physical appearance. Because it is beneficial for them as it is time-saving and contains a lot of
knowledge
 from every angle with just one click. I will discuss
this
 in detail in my essay below.
To begin
 with, scholars are gaining a lot of awareness from the
internet
 and learning various types of
knowledge
 from new gadgets.
This
 trend is increasing day by day as it saves the time of many
students
 if they are unable to go to university or school for some reason they can easily get access to that topic from the
internet
. As in the case of COVID-19,
For instance
, everything is closed and schools are
also
 so
students
 start making notes on the
internet
 and accelerate their
studies
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
without wasting their time.
Secondly
, they can get huge apprehension from screen and cyberspace with just a touch of a button they contain several considerations like on one topic they can give us a sea of
knowledge
 so,
students
 can learn it from various aspects. Many
students
 are moving to European countries, for higher
studies
 so the
teachers
 only provide them with the syllabus
according to
 their schedule but with the aid of
this
 technology,
students
 can learn and know about the concepts and ways of various other exams as well. If they are trying to go abroad for
further
studies
 it is an authentic way to know about all these by sitting at their own pace and relaxing and learning a lot of things with just a touch of a button. In conclusion, it is a fact that we are living in the modern era where each thing is technology base so the same is the case with
studies
 as well. The
students
 are using electronic gadgets to enhance their
knowledge
 more as compared to learning
knowledge
 from
teachers
.
Submitted by aimenmalik2021 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay response does demonstrate some organization of ideas, but the logical sequencing is not entirely clear. The use of paragraphs is evident, but the connecting phrases and the overall cohesion of the essay could be improved to create a more fluent argument structure. Introduction and conclusion are present but they do not adequately define the essay's scope or summarize its main points convincingly.
task achievement
You have attempted to address the prompt, but your response does not fully cover all parts of the task. It seems that the essay tends to agree with the statement; however, a clear position must be maintained throughout the response. Additionally, the task required a discussion on whether you agree or disagree with the given statement about students learning more from teachers than other sources. You should focus more on comparing learning from teachers to learning from modern resources rather than just discussing the latter.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: