IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Student learn far more with their teachers than with other sources (the Internet or television). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Pupils considering modern science to gain
knowledge
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 are utilizing the
Internet
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 and television
instead
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 of
teachers
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.
This
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 is true and I agree with the statement that learners are learning from modern resources like laptops and big screens
instead
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 of
teachers
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' physical appearance. Because it is beneficial for them as it is time-saving and contains a lot of
knowledge
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 from every angle with just one click. I will discuss
this
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 in detail in my essay below.
To begin
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 with, scholars are gaining a lot of awareness from the
internet
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 and learning various types of
knowledge
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 from new gadgets.
This
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 trend is increasing day by day as it saves the time of many
students
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 if they are unable to go to university or school for some reason they can easily get access to that topic from the
internet
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. As in the case of COVID-19,
For instance
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, everything is closed and schools are
also
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 so
students
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 start making notes on the
internet
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 and accelerate their
studies
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from
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apply
show examples
without wasting their time.
Secondly
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, they can get huge apprehension from screen and cyberspace with just a touch of a button they contain several considerations like on one topic they can give us a sea of
knowledge
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 so,
students
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 can learn it from various aspects. Many
students
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 are moving to European countries, for higher
studies
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 so the
teachers
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 only provide them with the syllabus
according to
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 their schedule but with the aid of
this
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 technology,
students
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 can learn and know about the concepts and ways of various other exams as well. If they are trying to go abroad for
further
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studies
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 it is an authentic way to know about all these by sitting at their own pace and relaxing and learning a lot of things with just a touch of a button. In conclusion, it is a fact that we are living in the modern era where each thing is technology base so the same is the case with
studies
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 as well. The
students
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 are using electronic gadgets to enhance their
knowledge
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 more as compared to learning
knowledge
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 from
teachers
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.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay response does demonstrate some organization of ideas, but the logical sequencing is not entirely clear. The use of paragraphs is evident, but the connecting phrases and the overall cohesion of the essay could be improved to create a more fluent argument structure. Introduction and conclusion are present but they do not adequately define the essay's scope or summarize its main points convincingly.
task achievement
You have attempted to address the prompt, but your response does not fully cover all parts of the task. It seems that the essay tends to agree with the statement; however, a clear position must be maintained throughout the response. Additionally, the task required a discussion on whether you agree or disagree with the given statement about students learning more from teachers than other sources. You should focus more on comparing learning from teachers to learning from modern resources rather than just discussing the latter.
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