The shortage of housing in big cities can cause severe consequences. Only governments actions can solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is undeniable that low-quality house construction in big cities can lead to negative outcomes related to people’s lives. I personally believe that
authorities
are the only organizations that can address
this
issue. On the one hand, high-quality accommodation requires a huge investment which most people can not afford, causing the lack of houses with good conditions resulting in a need for government support.
In other words
,
besides
housing, people have to spend their money on other essential services and food, contributing to a consideration for balance expenses.
Consequently
, individuals with limited budgets take a small amount of money to pay for low-quality housing regardless of risks related to safety.
As a result
, it is necessary for administrations to be in charge of raising house funds to lend to residents with low interest if they use the loans for good housing.
Furthermore
, governments can diversify levels of taxes, applying lower taxes for communities with low incomes, helping them to decrease tax burdens,
contributing
Correct word choice
and contributing
show examples
to consideration for better accommodations.
On the other hand
,
authorities
need to enact stricter regulations for house construction processes. The lack of integrity in housing establishments from some organizations is observing an upward trend. It means that they decrease housing investment budgets for personal purposes causing lower amounts of money that can merely afford low-quality building materials,
consequently
attributed as a main reason for the shortage of housing.
Hence
, in order to address the aforementioned issue,
authorities
are the sole institutions which have sufficient power to control
this
bad situation by banning heavy fines for individuals who are working illegally. In conclusion, the housing crisis caused by the deficiency of quality can be solved by no one except
authorities
as they can apply supporting methods and regulations to improve the occurrence
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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from more varied sentence structures and better use of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs together. Aim for seamless transitions between sentences and ideas for improved readability.
task achievement
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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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