The shortage of housing in big cities can cause severe consequences. Only governments actions can solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#shortage #cities #consequences #governments #actions

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It is undeniable that low-quality house construction in big cities can lead to negative outcomes related to people’s lives. I personally believe that

authorities

are the only organizations that can address

this

issue. On the one hand, high-quality accommodation requires a huge investment which most people can not afford, causing the lack of houses with good conditions resulting in a need for government support.

In other words

besides

housing, people have to spend their money on other essential services and food, contributing to a consideration for balance expenses.

Consequently

, individuals with limited budgets take a small amount of money to pay for low-quality housing regardless of risks related to safety.

As a result

, it is necessary for administrations to be in charge of raising house funds to lend to residents with low interest if they use the loans for good housing.

Furthermore

, governments can diversify levels of taxes, applying lower taxes for communities with low incomes, helping them to decrease tax burdens,

contributing

Correct word choice

and contributing

show examples

to consideration for better accommodations.

On the other hand

authorities

need to enact stricter regulations for house construction processes. The lack of integrity in housing establishments from some organizations is observing an upward trend. It means that they decrease housing investment budgets for personal purposes causing lower amounts of money that can merely afford low-quality building materials,

consequently

attributed as a main reason for the shortage of housing.

Hence

, in order to address the aforementioned issue,

authorities

are the sole institutions which have sufficient power to control

this

bad situation by banning heavy fines for individuals who are working illegally. In conclusion, the housing crisis caused by the deficiency of quality can be solved by no one except

authorities

as they can apply supporting methods and regulations to improve the occurrence

Submitted by nguyenmysam722001 on Mon Dec 11 2023

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the topic, but the main points are not consistently clear or well-developed. Work on presenting more specific and elaborated arguments to strengthen your position.

task achievement

While you have an introduction and conclusion, the introduction could be clearer in stating your position, and the conclusion could better summarize the main points. Ensure both are directly addressing the questions posed.

coherence cohesion

Your essay would benefit from more varied sentence structures and better use of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs together. Aim for seamless transitions between sentences and ideas for improved readability.

task achievement

You need to provide specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This will make your essay more persuasive and demonstrate your understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

294 words

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The shortage of housing in big cities can cause severe consequences. Only governments actions can solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Currently there is a trend towards the use of alternative forms of medicine. However, at best these methods are ineffective, and at worst they may be dangerous. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Many people think that money is the best gift to give a teenager, but others disagree. Discuss both the views and give your opinion including relevant examples.

Some people think that the best wat to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative wats or reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

International tourism has brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the enviroment. Do the disadvantages of International tourism outweight the advantages?