The shortage of housing in big cities can cause severe consequences. Only governments actions can solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#shortage #cities #consequences #governments #actions

It is undeniable that low-quality house construction in big cities can lead to negative outcomes related to people’s lives. I personally believe that

authorities

are the only organizations that can address

this

issue. On the one hand, high-quality accommodation requires a huge investment which most people can not afford, causing the lack of houses with good conditions resulting in a need for government support.

In other words

besides

housing, people have to spend their money on other essential services and food, contributing to a consideration for balance expenses.

Consequently

, individuals with limited budgets take a small amount of money to pay for low-quality housing regardless of risks related to safety.

As a result

, it is necessary for administrations to be in charge of raising house funds to lend to residents with low interest if they use the loans for good housing.

Furthermore

, governments can diversify levels of taxes, applying lower taxes for communities with low incomes, helping them to decrease tax burdens,

contributing

Correct word choice

and contributing

show examples

to consideration for better accommodations.

On the other hand

authorities

need to enact stricter regulations for house construction processes. The lack of integrity in housing establishments from some organizations is observing an upward trend. It means that they decrease housing investment budgets for personal purposes causing lower amounts of money that can merely afford low-quality building materials,

consequently

attributed as a main reason for the shortage of housing.

Hence

, in order to address the aforementioned issue,

authorities

are the sole institutions which have sufficient power to control

this

bad situation by banning heavy fines for individuals who are working illegally. In conclusion, the housing crisis caused by the deficiency of quality can be solved by no one except

authorities

as they can apply supporting methods and regulations to improve the occurrence

Submitted by nguyenmysam722001 on Mon Dec 11 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your essay addresses the topic, but the main points are not consistently clear or well-developed. Work on presenting more specific and elaborated arguments to strengthen your position.

task achievement

While you have an introduction and conclusion, the introduction could be clearer in stating your position, and the conclusion could better summarize the main points. Ensure both are directly addressing the questions posed.

coherence cohesion

Your essay would benefit from more varied sentence structures and better use of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs together. Aim for seamless transitions between sentences and ideas for improved readability.

task achievement

You need to provide specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This will make your essay more persuasive and demonstrate your understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

294 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
children spending a lot of time watching tv and playing computer games however it doesn't help in improving their mental abilities . Do you agree or disagree?
In today's digital age, children are exposed to a significant amount of screen time, spending hours watching TV and playing video games. Some people say that it has harmful psychological impacts on young minds. This essay agrees with the notion that these activities can be detrimental to a child's mental well-being.
5.5
band
Some people feel that entertainers (e.g., film stars, pop musicians or sport stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? which other types of job should be highly paid?
One of the most prevalent trends in the contemporary world is the cumulative increase in entertainment businesses, where people go and see their heroes. A portion of individuals believe that some stars are making huge amounts of money, some of them say it should be limited, but some think higher pay should be paid to the professionals. I agree money should be paid for their talents but we can not ignore scientists or doctors who contribute to society.
5.5
band
Environmental problems such as pollution and climate change affect all the people in the world. While global solutions are required to mitigate these problems, very few have been suggested. Why is there only a small number of solutions? How can these problems be resolved or mitigated?
In the highly competitive era of today, every country has developed its industrial colonies, which would have a much greater effect on the environment. While the government has taken many measures, it is not up to Mark. This essay intends to identify the reasons for this and suggest some solutions to mitigate the problems.
8
band
Some people think the manufacturers or shopping malls should sell less packaged products and others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
When it comes to protecting the environment, packaging is a controversial topic that often divides opinion. While some argue that it is the responsibility of suppliers to produce simply packaged items, others claim that the accountability lies in consumers. The essay below will take a look at both sides of the argument.
9
band
The bar chart below shows the popularity of well-known Instagram accounts in 2011 and 2021.
The bar chart gives some information about the popularity of Instagram accounts of famous Instagram users in one decade since 2011.

The shortage of housing in big cities can cause severe consequences. Only governments actions can solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

children spending a lot of time watching tv and playing computer games however it doesn't help in improving their mental abilities . Do you agree or disagree?

Some people feel that entertainers (e.g., film stars, pop musicians or sport stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? which other types of job should be highly paid?

Environmental problems such as pollution and climate change affect all the people in the world. While global solutions are required to mitigate these problems, very few have been suggested. Why is there only a small number of solutions? How can these problems be resolved or mitigated?

Some people think the manufacturers or shopping malls should sell less packaged products and others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The bar chart below shows the popularity of well-known Instagram accounts in 2011 and 2021.