IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Before and after the construction of some tourist facilities in island

#construction #tourist #facilities #island
The provided maps outlined
ann
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 unnamed
island
 before and after the development of various facilities for tourism
In
Correct word choice
Overall
show examples
overall
 , the total distance of the
island
 is about 100 miles . The given maps
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 that the
island
 has only trees and a beach before the construction of several services for tourist. After
construction
Add a comma
construction,
show examples
 the infrastructure of
island
Add an article
the island
show examples
 is very easy to access for the tourists . The
island
 has a per which is used to park the boats . There is a reception straight to the
island
 and it is located in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of
island
Add an article
the island
show examples
 . Around the reception , a large number of
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
accommodations
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 available for the travellers , who want
stay
Fix the infinitive
to stay
show examples
 and enjoy .
In addition
 ,
island
Add an article
the island
show examples
 has a
restaurent
Correct your spelling
restaurant
 for
ser ving
Correct your spelling
serving
show examples
 meals to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourists . The
island
also
offer
Change the verb form
offers
show examples
 swimming in the beach areas which attracts more people. The
Island
also
 constructed
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 vehicle track for travelling from
pier
Correct article usage
the pier
show examples
 to
reception
Correct article usage
the reception
show examples
 and to
Correct article usage
the restaurent
show examples
restaurent
Correct your spelling
restaurant
.
moreover
Add a comma
moreover,
show examples
 it has
footpath
Correct article usage
a footpath
show examples
 from all
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 to
beach
Correct article usage
the beach
show examples
.
Submitted by insighttribez on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, which are essential for framing the topic and summarizing the main points. Consider adding an introductory paragraph that provides context and sets the stage for the description, and a conclusion that succinctly summarizes the changes and their significance.
logical structure
While the main points are addressed, the logical structure of the essay could be improved. Introduce each facility with a separate paragraph and use linking words to show the relationship between the features described.
supported main points
To strengthen your main points, include more specific examples and details about the facilities. For instance, instead of simply stating there are accommodations, describe the types of accommodations and their features to give a clearer picture.
complete response
You have addressed the task by outlining the changes made to the island, but the response could be more complete if you discussed the implications of these changes, such as the impact on the island's ecosystem or how they might improve the tourist experience.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are relevant to the task, but they need to be expressed more comprehensively. Provide more detailed descriptions and expand on the significance of each facility to the overall tourist experience on the island.
relevant specific examples
You've included examples such as the pier, accommodations, and the restaurant, but specific details are missing. Add sensory descriptions or factual data to create a more vivid picture and to support your statements about the island's transformations.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: