IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Environmental problems are too great to be managed by individuals. Real change can only be made at the government level. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#individuals #change #government #level
There has been ongoing debate regarding who should take responsibility for environmental
issues
.
While
 some argue that only governments can make a real impact, others believe that individuals can
also
 contribute a considerable difference.
This
 essay will explore both perspectives that present the points of agreement and disagreement, and arrive at my own conclusion. In
this
 fast-paced society,
issues
 about the
environment
 have become more pressing than ever before. It is widely agreed that the government is the one who can eradicate the problems. Authorities can interfere with the market by adjusting oil prices and announcing eco-policies to reach the purpose of tackling environmental
issues
. One of the significant influences is that raising the price of fossil fuels will reduce public usage of automobiles, and
thus
 the reduction of greenhouse gas could alleviate global warming.
Furthermore
, policymakers through publishing strict regulations including fines can subtract the population who damage the
environment
.
On the other hand
, individuals can
also
 have profound impacts on environmental
issues
. It is undeniable that gathering the power of people can make a difference in society.
For example
, raising the awareness of garbage classification can reduce the substances that cannot naturally break down in the
environment
.
Moreover
, promoting recycling can reuse plastic bottles, which are the most common items in daily life and the most detrimental elements to our planet, and
this
 move can substantially reduce the probability that wildlife animals eat harmful materials.
As a consequence
, people have the capability of slowing down the deterioration of the
environment
. In conclusion, it is evident that individuals can
also
 greatly contribute to environmental problems. From my perspective, it is essential for both people and governments to equally dedicate themselves to making a change in the
environment
.
Submitted by seanlin12345 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure all paragraphs are distinct and the ideas flow logically from one to the next. Use a range of cohesive devices appropriately to aid in this.
task achievement
Fully develop your main points. Including specific, detailed examples will strengthen the argument and better illustrate your views.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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