Television advertising is aimed at children nowadays. Should television advertising for children be controlled?

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this

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day and age,

children

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usually spend their leisure time watching TV and a number of

advertisements

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are now towards them, so it is claimed that these kinds of ads should be restricted. I definitely support

this

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suggestion. It is indisputable that these

advertisements

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do bring some merits as they propagate market information to the kids and

thus

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the whole family. Nowadays some of the industries in food and drinks are monopolized by several big corporations. It is stiff for

products

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which have the same or even better quality than the counterparts of monopolistic firms to obtain public attention, and advertising the lesser-known

products

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on TV could augment their popularity and boost sales.

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children

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are actually more curious and concerned about the latest items like smartwatches and tend to try them,

while

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adults are more likely to ignore them. Posting the corresponding information of the newest

products

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to the young can increase the popularity of

products

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dramatically, contributing to economic growth.

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, on no account can we ignore the drawbacks of

this

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behaviour, especially for kids. As in most commercials, firms often exaggerate the benefits of

such

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products

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while

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whitewashing the downsides, which means one has to search for additional information on the Internet to have an objective view of

such

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objects and

thus

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assess the necessity of purchasing them.

On the other hand

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, not having a well-developed mind and awareness of double-checking, kids may just be blown away by the words in those misleading

advertisements

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. Combining the fact that most

children

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gain their smartphones and money at a very young age, they may just buy those unnecessary things, leading to various problems like family arguments. In a nutshell, though advertising

products

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children

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can incentivize and boost the economy, there should still be some restrictions to make sure the

advertisements

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are objective and reliable.

christianwangFri Jun 21 2024

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task achievement

Your essay effectively responds to the prompt, offering clear arguments for why television advertising aimed at children should be controlled. However, include more specific examples to make your argument stronger and more relatable.

coherence cohesion

Improve the linking of arguments and ideas within paragraphs. While the ideas are logically presented, ensuring smoother transitions will enhance the readability. For example, the sentence starting with 'It is indisputable that these advertisements' can be better connected with the previous one.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction effectively sets the stage for your argument, making it clear what your stance is and what the essay will discuss.

logical structure

You have a logical structure and flow to your essay. The points are well-organized and lead the reader through your argument naturally.

supported main points

You support your main points with relevant ideas and explanations, making your argument convincing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

308 words

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Television advertising is aimed at children nowadays. Should television advertising for children be controlled?

Your opinion

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Nowadays, many people have to work longer hours, and they feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons? What can employers do to make their life easier?

A second language is regarded as essential to success in the modern world. It should be compulsory for all children to study a second language as soon as they start school. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

A recent newspaper article reported that a 14 years old boy who seriously destroyed his school got the punishment to clean Street instead of being sent to prison. Do you think this is right or do you think that such criminal should be sent to prison.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the country side is decreasing.