IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The maps below show the changes of a school from 1985 to present time. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The maps below show the changes of a school from 1985 to present time. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#minutes #maps #show #changes #school #time #report #university #lecturer #information #summarise #features #comparisons
The
map
 illustrates
differences
Correct article usage
the differences
show examples
 between the
school
 in 1985 and in the present day,
along with
 the number of
students
 in the
school
. In overview, there are many significant changes appearing on the
map
 and
students
increase
Wrong verb form
have increased
show examples
 from 1,500
students
 in 1985 to 2,300
students
 now. Considering the
map
 in 1985, there was a car park
surrounding
Wrong verb form
surrounded
show examples
 by a
road
 which was
connect
Wrong verb form
connected
show examples
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 entrance and the exit of the
school
, and
end
Wrong verb form
ended
show examples
 at the large playing field. There
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
also
 two classroom blocks beside the
road
 in the
school
, which was two-storey
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the right side.
Moreover
, there was an additional car park beside and a library behind the left classroom.
Lastly
, the office was
contact
Change preposition
in contact
show examples
 with the main
road
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the left side of the
school
. In the present day, many changes can be seen on the second
map
.
Firstly
, the
road
 is only
connect
Wrong verb form
connected
show examples
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 entrance and the exit, the remaining is cut, and the car park is more round shape than in 1985.
Secondly
, some part of the playing fields is replaced by swimming pool, fitness centre and classrooms.
Next,
the classrooms at the right side of the
school
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 expanded into two blocks, and the storey is increased to three.
Lastly
, the library is changed to
learning
Correct article usage
a learning
show examples
 resources centre and computer room. The office is
unchange
Correct your spelling
unchanged
 since 1985.
Submitted by bhurin.kua on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "lastly".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words map, school, students, road with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "present" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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