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Band 4

Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?

#research #characteristics #influence #personality #development #experiences #life
Undoubtedly people’s characteristics are God
gifted
Verb problem
apply
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Even some experts have proven that inherited traits are more powerful in developing our personality.
However
, I believe that
experience
 is more powerful in
character building
Add a hyphen
character-building
show examples
 at different phases of
life
 than the traits from our ancestors.In
this
 essay, I will discuss the major impact of
experience
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 developing our personality. Manifold reasons to support my viewpoint will be discussed.
Firstly
, with
experience
 ,we learn varied aspects of
life
.
As a result
, we get to know how to survive in
this
 complicated world.
For instance
, when students go abroad, they
encountered
Wrong verb form
encounter
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. In different situations and have many sweet and bitter experiences, which teach them many
life
 lessons They learn how to communicate and adjust with people of diverse
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
 and
tradition
Fix the agreement mistake
traditions
show examples
 in other nations.
Secondly
, when we go through any hardship
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
life
,we can know about our strengths and weaknesses and will become great
decision maker
Correct your spelling
decision-makers
show examples
.To illustrate,a 23-year blind boy was rejected
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 enrollment by IIT and other institutions.He
then
 took
wise
Add an article
a wise
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 decision and his intellectual skills to open his own big firm and became CEO of
25crore
Correct article usage
a 25crore
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 firm.
Finally
,
experience
also
make
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makes
show examples
 us perfect
in
particular
Add an article
a particular
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 field which
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
 seems impossible to us.
For example
, when we work as a naïve?? In any
sector
Add a comma
sector,
show examples
 we perform in inefficient time and some mistakes we make.
However
, by practical work, we become more efficient and perform
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
 frequently which we find very hard in our initial days at
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
. In conclusion, it has been proven
experience
 plays
vital
Add an article
a vital
show examples
 role in our lifetime.We become more mature and merely more understandable in practical ways.
Submitted by chisae112 on

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Task Achievement
To improve your Task Achievement, ensure that you address all parts of the task. You should fully develop all aspects of the prompt with a balanced discussion. Adding more details and depth to your examples will make them more convincing and comprehensive.
Coherence
Your ideas need to be presented in a more logical and organized manner. Make use of cohesive devices and arrange your paragraphs in a way that makes it easy for the reader to follow your thoughts.
Cohesion
Your essay could benefit from a better introduction and conclusion. These should frame your arguments and make the reader understand the main points of your discussion. The conclusion should summarize your arguments effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • nature vs. nurture debate
  • genetic inheritance
  • personality traits
  • behavior patterns
  • heritability
  • twins studies
  • malleable characteristics
  • upbringing
  • environmental influences
  • critical periods
  • language acquisition
  • worldview
  • innate traits
  • personal experiences
  • psychological development
  • epigenetics
  • adaptive behaviors
  • cultural imprinting
  • temperament
  • social conditioning
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