IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The working week should be shorter , and workes should have a longer weekend? Do you agree? Or not

#week #workes #weekend
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It has been suggested that reducing working
hours
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 could enhance people's efficiency. and I wholeheartedly agree with it. One of the most significant advantages of reducing working
hours
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 is the enhancement of
work
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-life balance. With fewer
hours
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 spent at
work
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, individuals can allocate more
time
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 to their families and engage in meaningful activities.
This
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 quality
time
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 is essential for nurturing strong family bonds and fostering deeper relationships.
Additionally
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, spending
time
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 with loved ones can alleviate stress stemming from workplace challenges. When employees feel supported in their personal lives, they experience lower anxiety levels and greater emotional well-being.
This
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 improved mental state often translates to increased happiness and motivation, positively influencing their performance at
work
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. Enhancing productivity is another critical benefit of shorter
work
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hours
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. When individuals have enough
time
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 to rejuvenate, they can concentrate better on their tasks.
This
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 renewed focus often results in higher levels of productivity and efficiency.
Moreover
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, a shorter
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work week
Correct your spelling
workweek
show examples
 can encourage creative problem-solving.
For example
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, Japan is known for its innovative products, largely
due to
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 its emphasis on
work
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-life balance. By allowing employees more
time
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 to recharge, Japan fosters an environment where fresh ideas can flourish.
While
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 some argue that fewer
hours
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 could lead to a lax atmosphere and demotivation, I reject
this
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 notion. More free
time
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 often allows employees to return to
work
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 with improved concentration and heightened motivation. In conclusion, a supportive
work
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 environment that prioritizes
work
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-life balance can cultivate a more engaged and productive workforce
Submitted by homa.nazrmian56 on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt effectively by taking a clear stance and providing supportive arguments. To elevate your response, consider adding a counterargument paragraph to address potential objections in more detail, which would demonstrate deeper critical thinking.
task achievement
While your ideas are clearly presented, ensure to diversify your examples further. For instance, consider different cultural or industry perspectives to enrich your argumentation and illustrate the universal applicability of your points.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, consider using more varied transition phrases to connect ideas subtly, thus enhancing the smooth flow of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets up the argument you will explore, and your conclusion neatly summarizes your main points—both are critical for a high-scoring essay.
logical structure
The logical structure of your essay is commendable. You have a clear progression from the introduction through to the conclusion, and each paragraph has a coherent focus.
relevant specific examples
You provide relevant and specific examples, such as referencing Japan's innovative work culture, which strengthens your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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