The most important function of music is that it helps people reduce stress. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In today's society,
music
plays an essential role in our lives. Some people believe that stress could be reduced by listening to particular music
, while
others disagree with this
idea. In this
essay, I will explain why I agree with this
statement and provide examples to support my position.
Firstly
, music
is an arranged set of tones that could hit a specific part of our brain
and then
could help lower our stress level. This
is because studies prove that there are some tones, such
as like sound produced by a piano or sometimes with words like our modern music
, could release our stress levels. For instance
, in hypnotherapist practice, before the therapist makes a suggestion to a patient, they use music
to make the patient relax and make the therapy more efficient and impactful. Therefore
, it is clear that
music
could assist a person to have a brighter mind.
Additionally
, music
could stimulate our intellect growth and repair the brain
's damage. Music
become one of the methods to cure a patient with brain
disease and amplify the brain
's growth. For example
, it can be seen that pregnant women used to have a headphone on their belly to send music
to their babies, such
as Mozart's piece. On the other hand
, some people argue music
could distract humans from their goal so they can't achieve what they want. In the end, they will become stressed more than ever. However
, this
argument is flawed because it doesn't apply to large-scale populations. As a result
, music
could give enormous benefits to humans.
In conclusion, while
it is true that music
could obstruct someone's dream, the benefits of music
far outweigh the drawbacks. Therefore
, I strongly agree with the statement that the most important function of music
is to make people produce better results.Submitted by aulia.abdillah.ramadhan on
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task achievement
The essay should maintain a clear position throughout in response to the prompt; your stance seems to evolve and the final conclusion does not align with the initial argument made. Ensure that the thesis is clear and the conclusion is consistent with the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Your essay does maintain a basic logical structure, linking ideas and paragraphs. However, to improve, you should ensure that transitions between ideas are smoother and that each paragraph develops a single main idea with clear supporting examples.
