IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries, plastic shopping bags are the main source of rubbish. They cause water and land pollution, and so they should be banned. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#countries #plastic #bags #source #rubbish #water #land #pollution
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It is certainly true that in many parts of the world,
plastic
bags
 are the main reason contributing to
pollution
 on land and water and
therefore
, they should be banned. I have given my justification below.
Plastic
bags
 are the most used type of
bags
Fix the agreement mistake
bag
show examples
due to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 low cost and easy availability.
However
, they should be banned or lessened as they are being used in an unnatural way. People get these
bags
 at a huge amount in daily life and later throw them in the garbage or trash.
Furthermore
, all the garbage is
then
 taken to private industries that again dunk half of it into rivers and oceans. Later, these companies even burn the garbage the wrong way which leads to
huge
Add an article
a huge
the huge
show examples
 amount of air
pollution
Rephrase
apply
show examples
also
. The University of Delhi ,in India, conducted a study that tells us that in the
last
 year, over 1,000 tonnes of
plastic
 rubbish was generated from just the state of Gujarat alone.
Therefore
, it is obvious that
plastic
 waste should be banned in certain countries where the amount of waste produced by humans is too high. The government should create campaigns and authorities that reduce the production of
plastic
 shopping
bags
 and encourage the manufacturing and use of paper
bags
.
This
 is because paper
bags
 are more environmentally friendly and biodegradable.
Moreover
, they should keep track
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 private companies and authorizations that contribute to more land and water
pollution
. In conclusion,
plastic
 shopping
bags
 are the main source of rubbish and
thus
, should be eliminated in order to minimize
further
pollution
 issues in the future.
Submitted by ahv on

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task achievement
While your ideas are clear, try to provide a more even distribution of attention to each of your main points. Consider expanding on how paper bags are environmentally friendly and other alternative solutions.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a smoother flow between your paragraphs, especially connecting your points about plastic usage and the environmental consequences. Using linking phrases can help achieve this.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-defined and clearly state your position on the topic.
task achievement
You included relevant examples, such as the study by the University of Delhi, which adds credibility to your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Persistent pollutant
  • Biodegradable
  • Eco-friendly alternatives
  • Environmental impact
  • Land pollution
  • Water pollution
  • Reusable bags
  • Public awareness
  • Consumer behavior
  • Economic impact
  • Public policies
  • Innovation
  • Education and incentives
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