3)Although countries with long average working hours are economically successful, this often has some negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In contemporary
society
, there is an ongoing debate about the relationship between a nation's economic success
and the average working hours
of its citizens. While
it is true that countries with long average working hours
often boast economic prosperity, it is essential to recognize that this
success
may come at a cost—negative social consequences. This
essay aims to explore the extent to which I agree with the notion that prolonged working hours
can have adverse effects on society
.
To begin
with, it is undeniable that countries with citizens who work longer hours
tend to experience higher economic growth. Longer working hours
often result in increased productivity, leading to higher levels of output and economic success
. As people dedicate more time
to their jobs, businesses flourish, and the overall
economic landscape improves. This
connection between longer working hours
and economic prosperity is evident in various successful nations around the world.
However
, the downside of this
success
is the toll it takes on the social fabric of a society
. One of the most notable negative consequences is the impact on individuals
' health and well-being. Prolonged working hours
can contribute to stress, burnout, and various health issues. Individuals
may find themselves with limited time
for rest, leisure, and personal relationships
, leading to an imbalance between work and life. In the long run, this
can result in a less healthy and less satisfied population.
Furthermore
, the strain of long working hours
can also
affect family dynamics and community
relationships
. With individuals
spending an increasing amount of time
at work, the quality of family time
often suffers. This
can lead to strained relationships
, especially between parents and children. Additionally
, the sense of community
may erode as people become engrossed in their professional lives, leaving little time
for social interactions and community
engagement.
Another social consequence is the potential for increased inequality. While
the overall
economy may thrive with longer working hours
, the benefits may not be distributed equally among all members of society
. There is a risk that certain groups, particularly those in lower-income brackets or with less access to job opportunities, may be left behind, exacerbating social disparities.
In conclusion, while
longer working hours
may contribute to economic success
, it is crucial to acknowledge the negative social consequences that can arise. The toll on individuals
' health, strain
on family and Add an article
the strain
community
relationships
, and the potential for increased inequality are all factors that need to be considered. Therefore
, I agree to a certain extent that countries with long average working hours
may achieve economic success
, but it is essential to address and mitigate the associated social costs to build a more balanced and sustainable society
.Submitted by altynbektalgat835 on
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coherence cohesion
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, but the body paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences and more effective sequencing of ideas. Consider using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
The task has been addressed, and you have presented a position with a conclusion that summarizes your viewpoint. However, the essay lacks specific examples and detailed analysis to support your arguments. To enhance your task achievement score, include relevant examples and further exploration of the social consequences mentioned.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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