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Band 5

Spending money on railways rather than roads is more reasonable for government. Do you agree or disagree?

#money #railways #roads #government
Some might believe that spending money on railways rather than roads is a way that governments should perform regardless of their preferences. When it comes to me, I partially agree with the idea that utilizing money on rail lines rather than roads is not an effective method that leads to benefits. One aspect is that implementing more projects to make the line better is superior to spending much money on roads. Using railways is the precise reason that paves the action for transferring merchandise and passengers’ movement.
For instance
, products and daily passengers can be moved among distinctive remote places with the help of railways.
As well as
 governments should prefer to send their goods by train, because their authorities know that
this
 way is relatively helpful to save merchandise and
preventing
Wrong verb form
prevent
show examples
 different detrimental accidents.
This
 can be illustrated by the fact that many terrible road accidents and problems can occur even within off-peak hours. The road system,
on the other hand
, is comparatively available for government authorities and commuters. Travelling and transferring by car and other transportation or other vehicles is probably the fastest approach
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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most people
firmly
Add a missing verb
are firmly
show examples
 convinced of its benefits. To cite an example, cars and buses can move fast from one place to another because of their sizes. Travelling by road mostly has spread everywhere and it is more famous than the others.
This
 means is
Add an article
a
show examples
systematic project that nobody can claim
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is messy despite traffic jams and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other problems. All things considered, thinking about essential details reveals that travelling on both
harbor
Change the spelling
harbour
show examples
 and track has its own benefits.
Submitted by hacixanlielgun on

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task achievement
Your introduction does not clearly state your position on the issue. To improve your score, ensure your thesis statement in the introduction is explicit, clearly stating whether you agree or disagree with the statement and summarizing your main arguments.
task achievement
You have provided a partial response to the task by acknowledging both sides of the argument, but you must provide a clearer opinion and develop your arguments more fully. Strengthen your position by offering more detailed reasons and explanations for your viewpoint.
task achievement
Include relevant examples to support your arguments. Your current examples are somewhat generic. Specific, detailed examples will help clarify your points and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a more logical organization. Use clear paragraphing to separate different ideas, and make sure each paragraph has a clear central topic. Use a range of cohesive devices effectively to create a sense of progression and structure within your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion should effectively summarize your main points and restate your position clearly. Make sure your concluding paragraph provides a clear end to your discussion and reinforces the position you've taken throughout the essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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