In many parts of the world, people do research on their family history. Some people believe that finding out about previous generations is a useful thing to do. However, others believe that it is better to focus on present and future generations. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is true that many
people
argue
of
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about
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whether
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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should look for their
ancestors
Change to a genitive case
ancestor's
ancestors'
show examples
information to understand
about
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apply
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family
historitical
Correct your spelling
historical
value
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values
show examples
or concentrate on
next
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the next
show examples
generations
.
This
essay discusses
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
both points of view and I believe family
historitical
Correct your spelling
historical
problems are a wonderful treasure of
people
that cannot
underestimate
Wrong verb form
be underestimated
show examples
. On the one hand, the idea
of
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that
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instead
of looking back the history
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
should look forward to future
generations
is important. As many
people
believe understanding their past family
generations
does not help their lives become better. If their
anscetor
Correct your spelling
ancestors
ancestor
used to experience
a
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an
show examples
unexpectation life, it would make them become less confident or affect their career in a worse way.
For example
, there are many
case
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cases
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that happened in Vietnam police fields,
when
Correct word choice
where
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many
people
have had a dream to become a
policer
Correct your spelling
police
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officer. But they have to find out about three prior
generations
and prove their ancestor
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
did not do anything adverse to countries.
The
Correct article usage
Consequently
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consequently
, many
people
cannot
Verb problem
are not
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have
Verb problem
apply
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eligible enough to join
police
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the police
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force.
On the other hand
, I think
human
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humans
show examples
need to know about their ancestor. Some
people
tend to find historical
purpose
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purposes
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such
as culture or real treasure and diseases relating to
heritary
Correct your spelling
hereditary
. They can have more knowledge and understand problems from
information
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the information
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that
are
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is
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left, which
result
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results
show examples
in
planing
Correct your spelling
planning
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to tackle
this problem
Fix the agreement mistake
these problems
show examples
.
For instance
,
scienctists
Correct your spelling
scientists
have known the existence of Thalassemia disease, which come from two individuals having nearly similar gene and
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
married. Their children can bring
this
disease that can lead a death at
early
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an early
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age.
That is
reason
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the reason
a reason
show examples
why many
people
favour
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in favour
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of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
should research
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their family history as a way to help them
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
proud and live better. In conclusion,
although
there are a variety of reasons to support the option of
people
just
focus
Wrong verb form
focusing
show examples
on the now and future value, I maintain that
history
Correct article usage
the history
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of
family
Add an article
the family
a family
show examples
should be found.
Submitted by hungsama147 on

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coherence cohesion
Your response provides a basic structure but at times lacks clarity and proper paragraphing. Ensure that each paragraph contains one clear main idea and fully develops it with supporting sentences. Use a range of cohesive devices to improve the logical flow of ideas.
task achievement
Your essay partially addresses all parts of the task, but your arguments are not always expanded with clear, comprehensive ideas. Provide more detailed explanations and relevant examples to strengthen your argument. Make sure to address the prompt fully by discussing the other point of view with equal depth.

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