The Government Is Wasting Money On Arts And This Money Could Be Better Spent Elsewhere To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In today's fast-paced world, society
argue
whether investing in Change the verb form
argues
arts
is beneficial to government
. Some say that spending on Add an article
the government
arts
is not a waste and useful
for Add a missing verb
is useful
overall
population. Add an article
the overall
However
, numerous individuals consider that funding the arts
is detrimental for
Change preposition
to
government
. Add an article
the government
This
essay will discuss both perceptions and I will conclude with personal my opinion.
To begin
with, Investment in arts
plays important
Correct article usage
an important
roles
in cultural preservation, cherishing creativity and cross-cultural understanding. Fix the agreement mistake
role
Arts
is the way to conserve culture since it
inscribed the way of life from the past. Moreover
, arts
can inspire people
to make new works of arts
, Fix the agreement mistake
art
as well as
help people
understand crossing culture
more.
Despite the Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
postive
effects, there are many Correct your spelling
positive
people
still
think that Correct pronoun usage
who still
govermental
support for Correct your spelling
government
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
are
not crucial and the Change the verb form
is
government
should spend money on more important issues for quality
of Correct article usage
the quality
people
life. Since there are still a lot of issues that require funding more Change noun form
people's
such
as healthcare, education and infrastructure.
To recapitulate, both views have reasonable claims; nonetheless
, I firmly believe that funding the arts
is essential for the government
. The preservation of culture, fostering in
creativity and the promotion of cross-cultural understanding Change preposition
of
is
invaluable contributions that Correct subject-verb agreement
are
arts
make to society. By appreciating and supporting these intrinsic values, government
can contribute to the flourishing of their societies in meaningful ways.Submitted by taokhampaen on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear progression of ideas. It would benefit from more cohesive devices and better paragraphing to guide the reader smoothly from one point to the next.
task achievement
Consider rephrasing your introduction for a stronger impact. Having a clear thesis statement would better set the stage for your discussion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but could be more impactful. Aim for a more compelling hook in the introduction and a succinct restatement of your position in the conclusion.
task achievement
Your essay partially addresses the prompt, but you need to develop your ideas more fully and provide a more succinct conclusion that summarises your argument effectively.
task achievement
You should include more relevant and specific examples to support your main points. This adds weight to your arguments and shows a higher level of engagement with the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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