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Writing Samples
Band 5

a pie chart and a table show the source and the total value of fish imported to the U.S in 1988, 1992 and 2000

a pie chart and a table show the source and the total value of fish imported to the U.S in 1988, 1992 and 2000
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The providers and the general value of fish, which was imported to the U.S between 1988 and 2000,
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 shown by pie charts and a table respectively. From
overall
Linking Words
 respective it is visible that the total value of
this
Linking Words
 industry increased gradually and
Canada
Use synonyms
, which was the first most popular source, was mainly replaced by other countries. The total value of fish began at 6.5 billion dollars in 1988 and went up moderately and reached
to
Change preposition
apply
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10.72 billion dollars in 2000. In terms of pie charts
Canada
Use synonyms
 was the market leader owning just over
the
Correct article usage
apply
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half of the amount of imported fish in 1988 before decreasing greatly and dropping to 28% by the year 2000 and being replaced by providers from other countries.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
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 the share of other countries fluctuated slightly from 46% in 1992 to 42% in 2000 it remained the first most favourite provider in 2000. Meanwhile, China, which was about
one fifth
Add a hyphen
one-fifth
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 of
Canada
Use synonyms
 in 1988, penetrated
in
Change preposition
into
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 to market and overtook
Canada
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 over the following decade hitting a peak of 30% of the market share, getting
the
Correct article usage
apply
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second place in 2000.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words canada with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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