Young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same way as adults.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #crimes #adults

In the debate over whether young

people

who commit crimes should be treated in the same way as

adults

, I take the position that they should not be treated identically. The treatment of young

offenders

should consider their age, level of maturity, and the potential for

rehabilitation

. One reason to support

this

perspective is that young

people

's brains are still developing, resulting in a lack of full cognitive abilities and decision-making skills. Research has shown that the prefrontal cortex, responsible for impulse control and rational thinking, continues to develop until the mid-20s.

Therefore

, it is unfair to hold young

people

to the same level of responsibility as fully developed

adults

Instead

, they should be given the opportunity for education and

rehabilitation

to address the underlying issues that led to their criminal

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

On the other hand

, it can be argued that treating young criminals the same as

adults

is necessary to uphold the principles of justice and deter potential

offenders

This

viewpoint emphasizes the importance of personal accountability and the need to maintain a deterrent effect on society.

However

, it is crucial to consider the severity of the crime committed and the potential for reform in each individual case. Blanket punishment for all young

offenders

overlooks the potential for

rehabilitation

and denies them the chance to reintegrate into society as productive citizens. In conclusion, I believe that young

people

who commit crimes should not be treated in the same way as

adults

. Their age and level of maturity should be taken into account when determining appropriate consequences. By prioritizing education and

rehabilitation

over punitive measures, we can help young

offenders

learn from their mistakes and have a better chance at reintegrating into society as responsible individuals.

Submitted by lushizhe0809 on Thu Dec 14 2023

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introduction

Make sure your introduction contains a clear thesis statement that outlines your perspective on the topic. It helps the reader understand your stance and sets the tone for the rest of the essay.

coherence

Your body paragraphs should present clear and distinct arguments that support your thesis. Ensure each paragraph has a central idea and use cohesive devices to link your ideas effectively.

conclusion

In your conclusion, restate your thesis and main points, and offer a final thought or recommendation. This strengthens the overall message of your essay.

task response

While your essay addresses the task well, providing more detailed arguments and including a wider range of specific examples could enhance the response significantly.

cohesion

To improve cohesion, use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. This will help the flow of your essay and make your arguments more persuasive.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same way as adults.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Childhood obesity is a serious problem in many countries. What are the causes of this and how can the problem be managed?

some people believe that children should study all subjects at school, while others think they should only study subjects they are good at or find interesting .discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?